SUGAR!!!!!!!

I taught school for 18 years. I was a pre-school teacher for 3 years before that. I've raised 2 children. I have two 3 (almost 4) year old grandsons--and 1 infant grand-daughter. Yet there is always a chance to forget things I once knew, or to re-learn old lessons. Today was one of those days.

It started out very well. I got up early and was ready when Nicholas woke up. He ate a good breakfast and my normally dawdling little boy was ready to go in time for storytime at the library. On the way home I stopped at Publix to fulfill a craving I've had since I got here. I bought a Publix Pressed Cuban for lunch. Nicholas asked if he could have a cookie so we headed to the Bakery department for a free cookie.

"Which one do you want?" I asked. "Chocolate chip, Sugar, or the one with Sprinkles?"

"I want the M&M cookie because that's my favorite race car!" Nicholas answered pointing to the BIG cookie in the display case...the one for $1.49, not the smaller free cookies. (Nicholas loves NASCAR and his bed looks like Kyle Busch's 18 M&M car.) Of course being the grandmother I indulged him and bought the big cookie.

After we ate our lunch we split the big cookie and then Nicholas went to his room for his afternoon 'Quiet time'. He rarely naps, but he always has a 2 hour quiet time in his room. Or maybe I should say his parents and grandmas always get a 2 hour quiet time when he's in his room! I knew there would be no nap after that cookie but he was good and played quietly with his books and cars.

Then it turned 5:00. I think Publix should add a warning label to their cookies. WARNING: This cookie contains 8-Hour Time Release Sugar Granules. As soon as Jen and Dave walked through the door The Energizer Bunny took off. The Dawdler moved into Warp Speed.

"Mommy! Did you See THIS? GRANBERRY! WATCH!"
"Nicholas...shh, we're right here."
"ok." (pause) MOMMY! DID YOU SEE THIS??? GRANBERRY !!!! WATCH!!!"
"Nicholas.... SHHHHH: we see you."
"Time to wash up for dinner. Go Potty first.'
Boing, boing, boing....'Granberry...I go weally fast!"
"Yes, you did. Go potty.'
"Take my shorts off?"
"Yes"
"Take my underwear off?"
"Yes"
"Don't throw them?"
"No"
WHOOSH.....he kicks them across the bathroom
"OHH! They went high!"
Finally we make it to the dinner table. His little hands wave everywhere. He plows through his nachos and taco. And now it is BED-Time. Sure!
Jen manages to get him into PJ's and settles him for stories. After she tucks him in she brings him a sippy cup of water to keep by his bed.
"OOH! Cold Water! I love cold water Mommy!!"
Yep, he's ready to go to sleep.

You've heard the grandparent jokes about buying the kids the sugary treats and then sending them home? Oops, I forgot to go home.

Young at Heart--Tips from an old dog

Maggie turns 11 today. In dog years that would make her somewhere in her late 70's. How has age changed her? The obvious is that she is no longer a puppy that chews everything in sight, nor a maniac youngster with too much energy. But there are subtle changes as well.

She doesn't run as hard as she used to. As a youngster when she ran, she ran all out, leaping over fallen trees, hurtling down the slope of the retention pond and back up again. Sometimes she would run so hard she would hurt herself. There was no half-speed for her. Her eagerness outdid her reason.Today she enjoys a chance to run, and she gets up some good speed. Her ears flap back and her mouth opens wide into a smile. It still feels so good to her, but it is tempered by reason, experience...and age.

It wasn't so long ago that Maggie was enticed by the crackle of an empty water bottle. It was one of her favorite toys. When she found one, she would grab it and take off with it. We would wait until most of the crackle was gone and then get it back from her before she started swallowing little plastic shards. I've been collecting water bottles for a project at church. They are all over the house. If I give her one, she'll crackle it for awhile, but she hasn't stolen one. Signs of changed interests.

Her 'toy' of choice is one of my slippers. She greets me at the door with them, and can even find them on command. The other day she even had one tucked under her head as she slept. One day Warren decided she should wear them.

 She's good with the grandchildren. Patient, calm, comfortable. And in turn, they are patient, calm, and comfortable around her.

 

Now it's plain to see the closeness of her loved ones has taken precedence to the excitement of toys.

On walks she has always been well-mannered, but there was a constant tug on the end of the leash as we took off. The return trip is always slower though. I've found the fastest way to slow a dog down is to turn around and start heading home. It may seem as though they are tired, but mostly they are just trying to prolong the time outside with their master. Now as we walk, I'm not sure if it is age or just good manners, but even as she trots ahead of me, the leash is never taut.

Maggie still runs sometimes, but she doesn't run as hard or as long as she used to. Mostly she's happy just to walk along side me.

And she really does enjoy her naps.

But the other day I saw a younger Maggie. The day was the promise of the spring to come. The sun was warm, the breeze light. As we took off on our walk her head was up, ears forward. She set a lively pace, eager to get where we were going.  The week had been a dreary one. The weather was cold, and I was busy. The result was a bored dog. But if I think she's getting old, today she reminded me she can still keep me on my toes. She's only as old as I let her be. The more I give her to do, the younger she remains. She reminds me she may be getting old, but she's not ready to be put on the shelf.

.

Happy Birthday, Maggie!

Time-Elapsed Spring

I took a drive from Pennsylvania to Hilton Head, South Carolina yesterday. When I left home it was 35 degrees, barren trees, and only a hint of the coming spring. The sun rose to a clear day and as I drove through West Virgina the best news was that I didn't have to deal with snow on the highway, but there was still no sign of spring.

North Carolina brought improvements. The grass was green and I began to see the red tinge of buds appearing on the trees. It doesn't take much to get me excited at this time of year, and that was the beginning for me. The excitement rose in my veins the way sap rises in a maple tree.

I stopped for gas and took my jacket off. It was 60 outside. The breeze was mild, the sun warm. Yea!! The bright yellow of forsythia bloomed on the roadside. I started singing in the car. Maggie got up to see what I was so excited about. I don't think she got it. I continued on. Crossing Lake Norman I was enthralled by the flowering trees. It was a beautiful afternoon. If this is March in North Carolina I could live here!

At the South Carolina Welcome Center I got out for a bathroom break. Crossing the parking lot, I was almost dancing. Daffodils were in bloom!

It was 75 degrees. The sky was a deep blue above the pines. I was in heaven.

 Spring is such a beautiful time, but I would be happiest if I could skip the first 6 weeks when the world is still cold and it springs back to life in slow-motion. I love watching the time-lapsed version. Of course, when I return home, it will be early spring again, but then I get the real version....the one where I get to enjoy the daffodils and tulips for several days, the bloom of the trees as they go from gorgeous flower to pale green leaf.

Sometimes my impatience gets in the way.

I Know Why the Bluebird is Mad

Have you seen the picture of 'The Angry Bluebird"? Several years ago an artist's rendering of a puffed out bluebird, rust covered chest, furrowed brow, beady black eyes appeared in all sorts of places from sweatshirts to stained glass wall art. My favorite was the stained glass hanging which sits on my desk.

Bluebirds are such striking birds. From the back the male is a vivid blue color. The first winter we were here I was delighted to see 2 bluebirds perched on our deck railing. The next spring a friend sent me a bluebird box. Within a week of mounting it, we were rewarded as we watched a pair of bluebirds flying back and forth with grasses in their beaks. A house was becoming a home. We enjoyed watching the goings on and for 2 years our house raised bluebird families. They only lived in the home during the summer. Once the fledglings had flown the nest the parents left as well.

Then everything changed. During the winter a house sparrow family moved in. They enjoyed the protection of the box during the winter, and rasied their family in the summer. The bluebirds came back a couple of times but the house was occupied. Last fall in a desperate attempt to return the home to it's rightfull owners I cleaned out the box and left it open for several weeks. The house stayed vacant.

In January I was delighted to see 6 bluebirds flying around the house, and checking it out. I was very hopeful.

Then last week there was a showdown. 2 Bluebirds came to investigate. The house was empty, but a sparrow perched outside. The bluebirds flew at it, but she wouldn't budge. They tried several times and finally left. By the weekend, I could see the sparrows flying back and forth with grasses. Once again they had asserted Squatter's Rights.

If I was a bank I might just evict them, but I realize that as much as I want the bluebirds to move in, I can't legislate who lives in my house. As it is, I'm glad my house isn't sitting vacant and unused. The sparrows aren't as pretty, but their babies are safe in a well-built house in a nice neighborhood.

The next time I see a mad bluebird perched on my deck rail I'll just remind him he has no one to blame but himself! Sooner or later you have to stand up for yourself.

Absentee Grandma

One of the situations our family has to work with is that we all live 900+ miles apart. As recently as 2 years before I became a grandma, it looked as though our family would all be in Florida. I was feeling very lucky. How quickly it all changed! Within a 10 month period, our youngest daughter got married and moved to Iowa, both daughters became pregnant and had gave birth to our grandsons, and we moved to Pennsylvania. Suddenly I was a long-distance grandma. When my grandsons were first born I loved being there and helping the family as they tried to adjust to a new little one in the house. My daughters graciously wanted me to spend time with them and I never took that for granted. I'm all too aware how easily that extra presence can become oppressive and intrusive when a family is already strained from sleep deprivation and the pressures of taking care of a new baby.

Both of my daughters live near their in-laws and they have good relationships with them, so the boys do get to see grandparents frequently. If I let myself, I could get envious of that and there were moments when I watched other mothers, daughters and grandchildren shopping or eating out together and wished that was me. However, I've realized that when I get to visit, I DO get to do those things. Envy is a wasted emotion. It reminds you of what you don't have and prevents you from seeing what you do have.

As it is, I try to visit each family a couple of times each year, usually in the spring and fall, and we have been fortunate enough to get together at Christmas. When the kids get older the Christmas visits will end as they will want to spend the holidays at home. I can't be there for every special event, so my goal is to be there at their 1st and 5th birthdays and for certain special events if possible.

What does an absentee grandma do? Well, although I like to buy a special toy or game when I am with them, this one is not into sending lots of gifts. Spending time on the Webcam when possible is always fun. When I am there pictures are taken by the dozens and are scattered around the house; in frames, under clear desk mats, tucked into mirrors, in a purse sized photo album. It goes without saying that spending time with the kids is the best part; taking them for walks, reading stories, playing with them are what those visits are all about.

One of the advantages of being a 'visiting' grandma is that I get to see them in every stage of the day from breakfast to bedtime. Watching a child in their good moods, bad moods, independent streaks, and quiet times is the way to really know who they are. At Jan's last weekend I got to see Samantha as she tried to figure out how to crawl. Leg stuck out to the side, butt in the air, leaning on her elbows. It was still a new enough experience for her that she didn't get frustrated, just kept working it. When I go back the camcorder will get her scooting around. 

Talking to them on the phone is one of my favorite new things. I frequently need a translator but the other day one phone conversation reminded me that I may be absent, but I'm not forgotten. Nicholas got on the phone to say "Your bed is ready!" Those 4 words told me 2 things. He had finally given up his crib and moved into his big boy bed which has been waiting for him for months, and he's waiting for me to come back. Jen told me that as soon as they had taken down the crib and put up the guest bed where Granberry would sleep he said he wanted to call me and tell me.

What better invitation could an absentee grandma get?

March 1st!

It's March 1st! Normally this does not fill me with joy. To me, March is not true spring, just the promise that winter is almost over. Anyone who has lived through March in the north knows it can be cold, windy, and damp. We can still get a heavy snowfall. But this year I am ready to welcome it! Of course, the fact that the day dawned sunny and clear certainly helps, even if it was 28 degrees outside. There was a new view outside, too. The snow was all gone.

After Christmas is over, I leave out a few 'snow' ornaments to decorate the house in winter. A couple of lighted snowmen, evergreen trees and pointsettias (silk of course) brighten the house on winter evenings. A collage of pictures hangs over my microwave. I change them with the seasons. Last week I decided I was ready to put the decorations away and take the ground hog at his word. I swapped out the pictures of snow covered branches and geese on a frozen pond for the spring shots.

When I took a tour of the yard I discovered the daffodils are just as anxious as I am. It's really too early for them, but I have several that are 3 inches high already! My magnolia tree has fuzzy buds. And today, as I drove out of the neighborhood I noticed the treetops on the hillside across the road had a red tinge to them as the sap returned to the top branches.

Spring is on it's way. We've put February to bed. It is March 1st. April is only 31 days away! With a 2 week trip to Florida planned it will be a very good month indeed!