Center for Hope Gives Me a Warm Glow

When we moved here I wanted to get involved in something that would help people, but because I traveled a lot, I was hesitant to volunteer anywhere on a regular schedule. A few years ago I learned about a program that impressed me so much I wanted to be a part of it. The Center for Hope is a non-denominational Christian based community center that provides educational programs for adults, after school kids programs, utilities and housing assistance, clothing and a food pantry that distributes food 2 days a month to families that qualify through the state. And that is just for starts. Sue Otto, the director, has a motto: A hand up, not just a hand out. And that's her criteria for adding programs.


I like volunteering at the food pantry that distributes food 2 days a month. I usually help one day. The people are a mix of old, young with children, healthy, infirm, smart, or educably handicapped. Many (not all, there are a few gnarly apples in every bushel) are very appreciative and happy to be there.


This week was my pantry week and a group from my church went with me, but one day last winter really stands out in my mind. We had taken a new volunteer with us. As Sue Otto, the director, started handing out assignments, she asked the newcomer if she 'had the gift of mercy'. This is actually a trick question, which most of us knew. If you have the gift of mercy it means you will probably find it difficult to say no to a client who wants something they aren't allowed to have. For instance, occasionally we have a few bottles of syrup and boxes of pancake mix. On those days, in the Breakfast section, everyone will get cereal, but only the large families will get an extra apportionment of pancake mix and syrup. A single person will occasionally fuss and ask for it. It is difficult telling them no and making them move on. Sue knows this so if she feels it will be hard for you, she will give you a task that removes you from this situation.

Center for Hope receives it's food from the State. Food is allocated to families based on the old Supply vs. Demand principle. State allocations must be followed to the letter or the pantry will lose it's license. Sometimes it is hard, but volunteers must follow the rules.

Sue also receives a lot of items from local collection groups: churches, school clubs, scouts. For instance, our church collects toiletries and pet food that we send there. Grocery stores give them surplus items. She has more leeway over how those items are distributed. They are put on shelves or in bins in what I call the "Free Select" section. Families of 1 may get 1 item from each section, while familes of 5 may choose 2 or 3 (supply vs. demand, again). Understanding these details will help you understand the predicament I was presented with one day.


A tall, clean, but shabbily dressed man came in for his food. I've seen him there before, but never worked with him. As he went through the pantry he was very selective about what he needed. The cans of meat were welcomed, but he had plenty of pasta. He wouldn't take any of that. Then came the Free Select section. The first shelf had everything from a couple of boxes of pancake mix, syrup, soups, cake mixes, oatmeal packets... My client looked the shelves over and was delighted to see a box of salt! "Oh," he said. "Salt! No pepper? Oh well, I could use salt!" (Do you know how inexpensive salt really is?) We went on. The next Free Select section was a bin of candy. "No, I don't need no candy, " he said. Then we came to the toiletries. He was a single person so he was only allowed 1 item. "Oh man, soap! I could use me some soap," he said. He looked through the bin until he spied the toothbrushes. "A toothbrush? I really need a toothbrush."

It was my turn. Time to push that 'gift of mercy' to the back. "I'm sorry. Only one item. You have to choose." 

It was hard to do. The problem is, the were only a few toothbrushes, and several bars of soap. But there were many more families who would be coming through. As Sue reminds us, we have to be sure there are things left for the last family, too.

It was a tough choice. "I really need the soap. I could use a new toothbrush, too." He looked at me, took the toothbrush and acted like he was going to slide it in his sleeve. "I could hide it in here, couldn't I?" he asked. My heart sank. I looked at him and gently removed the toothbrush.

"I can't encourage you to do that," I said. I held the toothbrush in my hand. He kept the soap. We moved on. He finished collecting his order and I turned him over to the baggers. As he left, I tucked the toothbrush into his bag. "I'd like you to have this, too. Have a good day."


He just smiled and nodded his head.

There are times when you have to hold the line. If that toothbrush had been part of the State allocation, I would have kept to the rules. He would have had to choose, and be stuck with his decision. But that toothbrush came from my church. How would the person who bought it felt if they knew someone who really needed it was denied it?

All I know is that tiny flicker of light I usually feel (see my post on Feb. 19) warmed me like a campfire when I went home that night.

The Art of Language

Today my grandson and I took a walk to the park for a picnic lunch and to play. As we walked along he kept up a steady chatter. It didn't stop at lunch, or after lunch as he played on the playground. It got me thinking, and I made a rather random observation.

Whether learning to talk, or learning a new language, the process is pretty much the same.

My cousin is trying to learn Spanish. In her New Year's Resolution she resolved to practice 1 hour a day. When I was in high school, learning French Ms. Polsky made us speak only in French from the time we walked into class until we left ...even when we had no idea how to say what we wanted to say.


3 and 4 year-olds don't have that problem. Even if they don't know how to say it, they'll say it anyway. A 4-year-old can talk you into the ground. They repeat everything you say. They ask "How?" and "Why?" even when the word doesn't fit. They say I HAVE to do.... instead of I want to do.... which in turn sends parents into the proverbial "Excuse me, WHO is the boss? You don't HAVE to do.....! "

As a parent I was way too weary to try to comprehend why an young child can't just be quiet. But as a grandparent I have the luxury of age, experience, time (and therefore, patience) to think about such things. I think I've got it.

Kids are learning a language. That's it. It's that simple. When you learn a language you need to use it as much as you can. Even if it drives everyone around you to distraction. Practice really does make perfect whether you are 4 or 40.

My cousin may only practice 1 hour a day. Not so with children ...they practice it for 12 hours, or until you manage to snuggle them into bed!

They repeat what you say, rolling the words around, hearing the order, working on comprehending the idioms, grasping the meaning, repeating EVERYTHING in order to embed it in their brain. It is the best way to 'practice your Spanish'... so to speak.

Does that make it any less exhausting to listen to? No. But it does help me better understand why children can't be quiet.

40 Years Revisited

I've had fun reminiscing over the last 40 years. Some of it boggles my mind like:

10 Houses, 3 States, 7 Communities.

I'd like to just say here, I hate to move! I would have made a terrible military wife. Even though we have lived in 10 houses, once we settled in a community we usually lived in one place for 8 years, and we even lived in our last house for 16 years!

I've worked as an Avon Lady, a pre-school teacher, but mostly as a Children's librarian in both the public library and the public school media center.
Larry has been a Prison Guard, a Cop, but mostly a great Sporting Goods Salesman.

We've always had a dog, but at one point we had 2 dogs, 2 cats, and 2 large tropical aquariums!
Then came kids. We had 2 of those as well!

When we married we had an oven that could be programmed to come on and go off at a certain time so my meatloaf and baked potatoes were ready when I got home from work. Our TV had 3 channels plus PBS and we had 2 phones in the house. Land lines of course.

Now we have a microwave, Flat screen TV with 400+channels and a DVR (I hope to never have to give that up!). Cell phones have replaced a need for land lines and we have 2 computers to keep us connected to the world.

Our favorite toys were the bass boat, swimming pool, and finally a corvette--when the girls were off our auto insurance!

Just a few of our Favorite Memories
Camping on our honeymoon
Water Skiing on the Alafia, Fishing every body of water in Florida,
Learning to live with Alligators, snakes, but never spiders!
Those annual 3 day drives to the Connecticut cabins and the blueberry farm, with picnics at Mt. Tom or Kent Falls
Watching the Space Shuttle every chance we had
Swimming with the manatees; a once-in-a-lifetime experience!
A Hot Air balloon ride
The Christmas Larry and I gave each other bath towels with similar, but different mallard duck patterns on them
And of course, family dinners ending with the chocolate giggles

So many trips: (How lucky we have been!)
My first view of the Colorado Rockies
Jamaica
Alaska
Switzerland, Germany, Austria and Liechtenstein
Seeing the Grand Canyon for the first time
A House Boat trip on the St. Johns with 2 daughters and 2 friends
Larry's Wilderness Fishing Trip down the Rogue River
The Redwood Forest
My Trip to N.Y. with Jen after 9/11
My Trip to Canada with Jan for Canadian Thanksgiving

(I wonder what the kids will add to this list?)

Is it possible to wrap up the memories of 40 years in a blog?
No. That would be called a memoir and would be at least 200 pages!

All I can say here is that in 40 years we've had some good times and a few, but only a few, heartbreaks. There were ALE HOUSE nights on Thursday's when the week was long and the day had been longer and we were enticed by the $5.00 bucket of beer that awaited us. But more often were the nights we all sat down together for dinner, even if it meant waiting for daddy to come home, and then going to bed as soon as dinner was done.

In 40 years we have had dinners end in uncontrollable giggles only for someone to say "OMG, it's the chocolate!"

In 40 years we have kept in touch over the phone when one parent or another was traveling and:  a child stayed out too late, a horse had to be put down, through broken legs (plural-we have 2 kids), or a computer crashed and "my whole report was on that disk!"

On Sunday we exchanged Anniversary cards. As we read them we realized that although the design of the card was different we had selected cards where the message was identical, word-for-word! It reminded us of the "Duck Towel Christmas" 22 years ago.

Yes, In 40 years we have grown, changed, but managed somehow to stay in tune with each other.
It's been a good 40 years.

March 1st!

It's March 1st! Normally this does not fill me with joy. To me, March is not true spring, just the promise that winter is almost over. Anyone who has lived through March in the north knows it can be cold, windy, and damp. We can still get a heavy snowfall. But this year I am ready to welcome it! Of course, the fact that the day dawned sunny and clear certainly helps, even if it was 28 degrees outside. There was a new view outside, too. The snow was all gone.

After Christmas is over, I leave out a few 'snow' ornaments to decorate the house in winter. A couple of lighted snowmen, evergreen trees and pointsettias (silk of course) brighten the house on winter evenings. A collage of pictures hangs over my microwave. I change them with the seasons. Last week I decided I was ready to put the decorations away and take the ground hog at his word. I swapped out the pictures of snow covered branches and geese on a frozen pond for the spring shots.

When I took a tour of the yard I discovered the daffodils are just as anxious as I am. It's really too early for them, but I have several that are 3 inches high already! My magnolia tree has fuzzy buds. And today, as I drove out of the neighborhood I noticed the treetops on the hillside across the road had a red tinge to them as the sap returned to the top branches.

Spring is on it's way. We've put February to bed. It is March 1st. April is only 31 days away! With a 2 week trip to Florida planned it will be a very good month indeed!