Good Friends

Tonight, as I write this I look out my window at the darkness below. It makes me a little sad. Behind my house is a ravine and at the other edge of that ravine, below my house, is another house, identical to mine. Until today, Diane and Trip lived there. They have become special friends of mine.

Four years ago, Larry was working in the garage when he came in the house and called up to me to come meet someone. It was Diane. She was new to the neighborhood and was taking a walk. As she came to our house she saw Maggie outside. (Maggie has made me more friends than I can count!) She stopped and introduced herself to Larry and then came in to meet me.

We sat at the kitchen table for over an hour and a friendship was born. She finally realized she'd better head home since her husband, Trip, would be wondering where she was. Diane and I quickly discovered we had several things in common. Until recently she had a dog like Maggie, but she was forced to give him up because of her husband's health issues. We were both Empty Nesters. We lived in the same model home, (a 4 bedroom home, but with only 2 adults living there!) We were both Christians. Neither of us had children or grandkids living nearby. Both of us have moved a lot. She has moved 11 times; I have moved 8. We are both pretty independent.

Over the years we became good friends, but I think we became even better neighbors. There wasn't anything we wouldn't do for each other, at the drop of a hat. Give me a ride to the airport? Sure. Let the dog out? Of course. Trip was fighting a respiratory condition that was very serious. Eventually he got a lung transplant, but before that there were situations. One day she called me. She was out of town visiting a daughter. Trip had been suddenly admitted to the hospital the night before. Could I go to the house, pick up some essentials and take them to the hospital? I was glad to help out. Truthfully, when a friend calls you for little things like that, it is a privilege to be asked.

Diane and I were not 'soul mate' type friends. I love to read. She can't sit still long enough to get past page 1. She is in constant motion, working on 5 projects at a time (on a slow day). I have a hard time getting a room painted. Ah, yes. Painting.... There was the time Diane said 'are you STILL painting that room? You've been working on it all week!' Yes, I had been and yes, I still was. I am not the best painter and I couldn't seem to get all the spots adequately covered. Diane dropped what she was doing, showed up, and spent the afternoon finishing the detail work and fixing my mistakes. Room--Done! Diane liked doing things for people. She kept tabs on people who moved into her part of the neighborhood, provided meals for people she found through her church, invited neighbors to a casual dinner.

During the summer the trees in the ravine blocked my view of her house, but from November to May, I had a clear shot. I jokingly referred to my ability to spy on her. My kitchen and family room overlooked her house. "Oh, Trip just pulled in," I'd tell her as we chatted on the phone and I watched a car pull in the drive. "I didn't know you were gone this weekend," I would text her. "Your house is dark." She had a good view of my house, too. But mine was better. (I wonder if she has warned the new owners of their 'nosy neighbor'!)

Diane and I didn't hang out. We texted more than we talked. "In W. Va. be home in another hour"  "welcome back"... "going to Bunco?" "can't make it" "Sorry".... It was casual, but we kept in touch.

One text was not casual. Trip had gotten his lung transplant, only it was a surprise to me. The text woke me up early one morning. When Larry is on the road I sleep with my phone near me. I don't hear emails that come in overnight, but the text alert is distinctive. I grabbed the phone and read "Out of surgery. In recovery. all went well." Then I noticed the text I'd slept through, sent 5 hours earlier. "Lung available. going in now." WOW. I texted her back. "I didn't know he'd even been approved!!!" ..."He made the list 9 days ago." Double WOW. Today, as we said farewell it was so special to see Trip standing there, talking, making plans for the future, with no oxygen tank in sight.

Communication methods have changed. Sometimes it seems we have lost the fine art of conversation. But with a friend like this I don't think we have lost anything at all. We keep in touch. It may be small comments, rather than deep discussions, but the connection is there. And I will miss her.

There is a bright spot. For people like us, people who move a lot, there are a few friends that you hold onto. Diane has friends all over the country. Diane will stay on my list of friends, as well. The best part is she will be in Charlotte, NC. I drive through there a couple of times a year on my way to and from Florida. I have one friend in Fayetteville, NC, and one in Hilton Head, SC. I see them each year as I travel south. I now have 3 places to stop and stay on my way through. How lucky is that?

Good friends are rare. John Lennon's song "In My Life" speaks of how people come in and out of our lives. For people like us that move alot, we've had our share of friends. Some stay with you longer than others. I hope Diane is one that hangs around.