Wednesday, May 5, 2010

My Lawn Mower needs a GPS

One of the things I really like about going to Iowa to visit my daughter is seeing a part of the country I know little about. Farming is big there. Excuse me. Farming is BIG there. Jan married into one of America's farming families. 2 brothers and 3 sons farm 8,000 acres. When we first met her husband-to-be, we were a little ignorant as most people are when they come across something new. We didn't mean to be. We were really interested in hearing all about everything, but silly things made us laugh and I'm sure we came across as strange at least. For instance, my daughter lives on a gravel road 3 miles from the main road. When Mike first told us about the house he said it was 3 miles from the pavement. I'm sorry to say, a few of us convulsed in giggles. Pavement? I guess we thought of pavement as sidewalk or driveway, or something else. I think we envisioned a 2 rut road through the fields to a hardtop country road, followed by a long drive to town. For some reason we found this funny and it sounded like they were really out in the middle of nowhere.

Not so! The gravel road they live on fits 2 vehicles easily, or one really big tractor, combine, spreader--you know--farm stuff! Cars and trucks go by at 40-50 miles an hour leaving a trail of dust in their wake. During the planting or harvest season the Planters and Combines rule the road. When you drive down those roads, you learn to look for 'driveways', which is any place you can pull off safely without going into the ditch. Ditches in Iowa are pretty impressive. When they say to get into a ditch if you see a tornado coming, trust me. You are down pretty far. I've seen a few ditches that would easily hide a car in them. In order to cross the ditch to get into a field a driveway has been created for the tractors. In summer they are hard to see because the grass in the ditch is high but after my first trip out there I learned to look for them and try to arrive in daylight so I don't have to share the road in the dark with a piece of machinery that could drive over me and never know I was there.

My daughter's father-in-law has a new tractor that is equipped with a GPS. A GPS is one amazing piece of technology. It can find lost children, locate stolen cars and tell me how to get from my door to my daughter's faster than I can find a map of Iowa in a road atlas....and yes, I tell it, I will take toll roads. It knows the speed limits I will encounter, and can tell me to the minute how long a drive it is.

So what is one doing on a tractor??? Funny you should ask. It will take the tractor across the field in a perfectly straight row. Mike doesn't even have to use the steering wheel. Jan's father-in-law prefers to drive the tractor himself. He grew up old school and takes pride in how straight his rows are. He says he can do a row straighter than the GPS can, because when the tractor turns, it wobbles a bit as it self corrects and finds it's new position. This picture of a field was planted without the use of the GPS. Those are straight rows. Amazing!

This year, Larry bought me a new lawnmower. It's not a riding mower but it is self-propelled. I'm spoiled already. My favorite feature though is the bagger. Our last mower didn't have one, and on windy days I was so covered in grass birds tried to nest in me. The other day I was out walking and noticed a newly mowed lawn. It was beautiful! I could see the rows the mower had made as it was cut. They were straight and neat and I was impressed.

Today I mowed my grass. Our backyard is rough, but so much easier to mow with the self-propelled feature. It pulls me along and we bounce over hills and through ruts. As I look back I see a zigzag path behind me. Each row wibble-wobbles along. The wheel tracks overlap in places and cross each other in places. If an observant police officer drove by and looked he might have probable cause to give me a breathalyer and make sure I wasn't under the influence of one of my favorite end-of-the-day beverages. I have a long way to go before I can mow in nice, straight rows. I wonder if the next model of lawnmower will come with a GPS. I think I need one.

3 comments:

  1. I must say, the baby belly was jiggling from the moment I read the title all the way to the end! Mike had just gotten home so we read it together. One correction: they farm 4,000 acres, not the 8,000. Although, Mike did say the 8,000 would explain why it takes so long! (Those are my words; his comment on the duration was influenced by getting home at 9pm when he gets up to work at 4am and the wording was a tad "rougher" but still made in a joking manner.) :)

    Anyway, we had a great time reading this. It truly is true! It reminds me of when my only "previous life" visitor ventured out to visit and she called halfway from the airport because she was convinced she'd gone too far. She was on the phone with her husband who had googled the area and he couldn't even find the roads she was on. We assured her she was going the right way and had at least another hour's drive to get here. She thought she'd been in the boonies before in life...she discovered a whole new level coming out here!

    A GPS is VERY handy out here. After 4yrs, I still need it to get to the ONE part of Des Moines I know...I mean that literally. I know one stretch of University Ave and rest of the time the GPS is on. I will say, even better than a GPS is having people that know. Yesterday I was on 'my one stretch of DSM road that I know' doing some shopping only to discover my interstate on-ramp was closed. The GPS wasn't up yet, since I knew how to get that far, and while I was scrambling to remember which direction to go on the other on-ramp I knew of (onto a different interstate since my "stretch" of road happens to be at an interchange) I called Mike. He was able to quickly give me directions but they were different than what the now running GPS was telling me. It wanted me to go the long way around the loop to keep me on the interstate. Well, we live an hour + from the interstate (on the direct road), so back (major) roads are usually the faster route from DSM. Only I have yet to figure out how to tell the GPS that's what I want and I didn't think driving in unfamiliar traffic was the time to discuss the issue with Ms. GPS lady- who, by the way, is likely to go on strike very soon since we don't take her advice to heart very often, thereby forcing her to re-route us on a frequent basis for the shortcuts we know...but I digress.

    Great blog, mom! I needed a laugh since this week is so busy!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I thought you'd enjoy this. And I remember trying to find the NICU reunion and the road the GPS told us to take didn't exist. It had been renamed. It took a phone call to a local friend to get us there.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hi, Connie,

    I read this a while ago, but things in my life were going in high gear and didn't take the time to comment. Cute entry

    About that GPS ... I can't IMAGINE living my life now without one. Occasionally, though it has let me down when the road I want is deemed non existent, and instead, it is a large vacant piece of land! Oh yes -- this happened... However, I never realized that it would help keep rows straight on a farm -- or even a lawn mower.

    Bottom line -- human being probably don't "think" in straight lines and need that GPS to help them. The natural "wavy lines" one makes without a GPS show our natural tendency to "wiggle around" a bit. *g* But -- hey -- the job gets done...!

    ReplyDelete