February came and went and we are almost finished with March. Yea!! Most winters I get to spend a few weeks in Florida, but this year we made the Great Trek at Christmas to both Iowa AND Florida. And we are moving soon to Georgia, so winter travel just wasn't in the cards. Even with trips to the land of the sun, usually by now I am deep into a jug of OJ and Vodka. This winter, one would think I would be well into my second jug. It's been long, cold, and snowy. One could get a little tired of it all.
In search of endorphins, I take Yoga at a gym. It's a great class, with a great group of women. This winter the gym did its best to give us another reason to feel sorry for ourselves. The Plank Challenge! What is the Plank Challenge? To see how long we could hold ourselves in Plank position, of course!
Every class from Yoga to Zumba began with us holding the plank position for as long as the instructor challenged us...or as long as we could make it. It started at 20 seconds at the beginning of February. At the end of the month we were challenged to last for 3 minutes! I decided early on if I could make it for one minute I'd be happy!
There was another side to February that was more fun. I signed up for 2 months of voice lessons to evaluate my voice and learn better breathing techniques. As a teen I sang soprano. After I got married and had kids, I didn't sing in a choir for years. By the time I went back to choir, the high notes were gone, so I started singing alto.
I learned a few things at those lessons. First, I discovered I should be a soprano, but I really need to stretch my voice. I also discovered that if you want to prove to yourself that you really can't sing, try voice lessons! I can carry a tune pretty well, and put me in a choir surrounded by other average voices like mine and it sounds lovely. Put me in a room by myself with just a piano to keep me on pitch and I sound remarkably like those poor kids trying out for American Idol whose parents assured them they were the next Mariah Carey.... but werent'! The ones that made Simon, Paula AND Randy wince.
So when February was over how did I do? All I can say is I amazed myself!
As for the Plank Challenge, I hung in for 3 minutes and 20 seconds! I was so proud of myself!
My voice lessons are just finishing up, but I started with a range of about an octave and a half, and ended with a range of two and a half octaves. I hit high notes I hadn't heard in years. It doesn't sound pretty yet...more like a bad wheel bearing, but in time it will. It just takes daily practice. Just like holding plank in yoga.
I will never be a Yoga instructor, or sing solos in a choir, but I stretched myself in ways I haven't done for a long time. It was probably healthier than fighting through February with the jug of OJ and Vodka. One thing is certain. If you want to feel good, endorphins only go so far. Conquering a challenge is a feeling that lasts a lot longer.
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Friday, March 7, 2014
Making God Laugh
There is a line that says "If you want to see God laugh, just tell him your plans."
I believe it's true. I can document some of the chuckles I have given God over the years.
In my early years I followed what came naturally. I graduated from school, went to college, met the love of my life, got married, had kids....I followed the pattern. Then Larry decided he wanted to change jobs. He got a new job. He wanted to move south. I wanted to move north. I thought New England was the perfect place to be. (Of course, the only time I had ever spent in New England had been in the summer. It was beautiful. It was friendly. It was fun. Let's go there!!) Or Colorado. (It has mountains. It is beautiful. Let's go there!) Larry checked the statistics for salesmen in fishing and hunting. He was looking around. I thought to myself, PLEASE, NOT the SOUTH!!!! So he picked Florida. Ok, Technically, Florida is just a northern state that was placed south of Georgia, so maybe God was just looking for a giggle, not a real laugh.
7 years later:
I have finally adjusted to living in Florida. I've decided it's ok if I stay here. It took awhile, I know. I was a reluctant transplant. For the first time since we've moved here I've made plans for the fall. I will be my daughter's Girl Scout leader. The phone rings..... within hours I've discovered we are moving to Ft. Lauderdale. There are only 2 places in the U.S. I don't want to live. California and Miami. God apparently needs a pick-me-up. Time for a chuckle. Send her to Ft. Lauderdale. Her husband can work in Miami.
After 4 years of penance I am returned to that place I didn't want to be in the first place, Tampa. And I am THRILLED!!!!! I can not tell you how happy I am to be back there. Ironic isn't it? God has a great sense of humor.
Fast forward several years. My oldest daughter is approaching marriage. No proposal yet, but could be soon. I look at the church where we've been a member for years. These people have been a part of her life. I can see it. The pastor that will marry her, the organist that will play at the service. The couple in our church that can sing the solos at her service. I can see it all coming to fruition.....
There is not a happy ending here. Let's just say it never happened. 1) the pastor retired. 2) the organist and one of the soloists had an affair. 3) Fortunately, my daughter had her own plans and her own church so she had her own people lined up. I suspect God wasn't laughing. Perhaps there was a trickle of a tear. But there was a happy wedding, even if it wasn't what I had seen. And He was smiling.
2005--I can see the future. Although Larry and I moved away from our extended families, I have a great chance of having my kids around me in the future. Jen and Dave are in Orlando, with strong ties to the area. We have been in Florida for 25 years. Janice has proclaimed that she doesn't want to move from Florida. (HA)! I'm feeling good. I never see it coming.
Jen starts the dominoes. She and her husband are looking at teaching positions in Charlotte, NC. I'm ok with that. A couple of months later, Janice announces she has been on eHarmony.com and met a guy named Mike who lives in Iowa. IOWA??????? (I can't tell you how long it took me to wrap my head around that!) Larry completes the Trifecta. His job is eliminated. He starts a nation-wide search. I can see all my plans collapsing around my head.
God must have needed a real belly laugh with this one. Jen stayed in Florida. Janice married and moved to Iowa, and we moved to PA. What happened to my vision of a family close by in Florida? (Author's note: I've been to Iowa many times now, and I really like it there. More importantly, so does Janice!)
What prompted this post? Why am I talking about all this history, now? The weather.
We, by that I mean most of the east, are having a crazy winter. Super cold is one part of it, but most areas are experiencing very high snowfalls. Recently, I was clearing snow for the 3rd day in a row. After a while it gets boring. And annoying. I get up in the morning and then try to decide if I need to shovel or get the snowblower out now, or later because it's still coming down.
As I was clearing it, I thought to myself, "It might be cold in Georgia but I won't be doing this!"
And the next morning I heard the weather report:" Extreme cold in the south and record snowfalls" for an area without snow removal equipment.
And I thought to myself, "REALLY GOD? Are you that bored? Are you laughing with me or AT ME????"
God has probably laughed at me more than this, but sometimes I'm too blind to see. All I know is that deciding I know my future is futile. But I'm sure I'll keep doing it. Someone has to bring a chuckle into His life.
I believe it's true. I can document some of the chuckles I have given God over the years.
In my early years I followed what came naturally. I graduated from school, went to college, met the love of my life, got married, had kids....I followed the pattern. Then Larry decided he wanted to change jobs. He got a new job. He wanted to move south. I wanted to move north. I thought New England was the perfect place to be. (Of course, the only time I had ever spent in New England had been in the summer. It was beautiful. It was friendly. It was fun. Let's go there!!) Or Colorado. (It has mountains. It is beautiful. Let's go there!) Larry checked the statistics for salesmen in fishing and hunting. He was looking around. I thought to myself, PLEASE, NOT the SOUTH!!!! So he picked Florida. Ok, Technically, Florida is just a northern state that was placed south of Georgia, so maybe God was just looking for a giggle, not a real laugh.
7 years later:
I have finally adjusted to living in Florida. I've decided it's ok if I stay here. It took awhile, I know. I was a reluctant transplant. For the first time since we've moved here I've made plans for the fall. I will be my daughter's Girl Scout leader. The phone rings..... within hours I've discovered we are moving to Ft. Lauderdale. There are only 2 places in the U.S. I don't want to live. California and Miami. God apparently needs a pick-me-up. Time for a chuckle. Send her to Ft. Lauderdale. Her husband can work in Miami.
After 4 years of penance I am returned to that place I didn't want to be in the first place, Tampa. And I am THRILLED!!!!! I can not tell you how happy I am to be back there. Ironic isn't it? God has a great sense of humor.
Fast forward several years. My oldest daughter is approaching marriage. No proposal yet, but could be soon. I look at the church where we've been a member for years. These people have been a part of her life. I can see it. The pastor that will marry her, the organist that will play at the service. The couple in our church that can sing the solos at her service. I can see it all coming to fruition.....
There is not a happy ending here. Let's just say it never happened. 1) the pastor retired. 2) the organist and one of the soloists had an affair. 3) Fortunately, my daughter had her own plans and her own church so she had her own people lined up. I suspect God wasn't laughing. Perhaps there was a trickle of a tear. But there was a happy wedding, even if it wasn't what I had seen. And He was smiling.
2005--I can see the future. Although Larry and I moved away from our extended families, I have a great chance of having my kids around me in the future. Jen and Dave are in Orlando, with strong ties to the area. We have been in Florida for 25 years. Janice has proclaimed that she doesn't want to move from Florida. (HA)! I'm feeling good. I never see it coming.
Jen starts the dominoes. She and her husband are looking at teaching positions in Charlotte, NC. I'm ok with that. A couple of months later, Janice announces she has been on eHarmony.com and met a guy named Mike who lives in Iowa. IOWA??????? (I can't tell you how long it took me to wrap my head around that!) Larry completes the Trifecta. His job is eliminated. He starts a nation-wide search. I can see all my plans collapsing around my head.
God must have needed a real belly laugh with this one. Jen stayed in Florida. Janice married and moved to Iowa, and we moved to PA. What happened to my vision of a family close by in Florida? (Author's note: I've been to Iowa many times now, and I really like it there. More importantly, so does Janice!)
What prompted this post? Why am I talking about all this history, now? The weather.
We, by that I mean most of the east, are having a crazy winter. Super cold is one part of it, but most areas are experiencing very high snowfalls. Recently, I was clearing snow for the 3rd day in a row. After a while it gets boring. And annoying. I get up in the morning and then try to decide if I need to shovel or get the snowblower out now, or later because it's still coming down.
As I was clearing it, I thought to myself, "It might be cold in Georgia but I won't be doing this!"
And the next morning I heard the weather report:" Extreme cold in the south and record snowfalls" for an area without snow removal equipment.
And I thought to myself, "REALLY GOD? Are you that bored? Are you laughing with me or AT ME????"
God has probably laughed at me more than this, but sometimes I'm too blind to see. All I know is that deciding I know my future is futile. But I'm sure I'll keep doing it. Someone has to bring a chuckle into His life.
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Olympic Inspiration Part 2
The Olympics have come to an end and I have regained a portion of my life. I reclaimed my afternoons and I'm back to getting to bed before midnight, but it was fun while it lasted.
Who inspired me this year? An Olympics or two ago, (1996 actually) there was a tiny little thing that bounced off a Vault in gymnastics and landed on 2 legs and immediately, And I Mean IMMEDIATELY pulled her left leg up, because it was hurt. Keri Strug didn't hurt her leg on that landing. She hurt it in the preceding vault. But she went for it anyway. Common sense would have said, being able to walk for the rest of your life is more important than getting a great score right now. But athletes don't always recognize Common Sense rules. Their goals are so integrated into their being they can push through situations that would flatten most of us.
This year, I watched Figure Skater Jeremy Abbott hit the ice. Literally. Jeremy launched into some kind of spin/jump, but when he landed it wasn't on his feet. He hit the ice, and fell hard on his hip and then slid HARD into a wall. He lay prone for several seconds. (Just seconds? Felt like forever!) Finally he stood, rubbed his hip, winced in pain and headed for the judges station to withdraw from the competition. Then the fans started applauding and cheering.
I've been to enough sporting events to know when the fans applaud you standing up, they aren't saying GO ON!~ YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! YEA!!!!!!!!. They are just glad you aren't permanently injured. But that's not how Jeremy saw it.
Unable to let the fans down he went on to a truly inspirational program. He hit every jump. As far as I was concerned, he nailed EVERY move and was inspirational! I have a little bit of professional support here. The announcers were as amazed as I was.
That same night Evgeni Plushenko was also inspirational to me, but in a totally different way. Knowing when to walk takes just as much courage as getting back on the horse. Here was a national hero. He knew what was expected of him. We want our heroes to succeed. They EXPECT them to succeed. Evgeni knew he couldn't perform and would either embarrass his country or hurt himself. Either way, he knew it was time to walk, not skate. It was a sad moment, especially for all of his Russian fans. But I was proud of him. It was a really difficult decision.
Then there was skiing. Lots of skiing. I'm not familiar enough with the different events to keep them all straight, but there was one that was memorable. In one event 5 men skiied downhill. Only the first 3 would qualify for the finals. A skier at the back of the pack fell. No way would he qualify,-- but he didn't give up. He got up and continued on to sure failure. Then the skier in 3rd place lost his balance and fell into the one in 2nd place. AHA! Suddenly, what looked like sure failure for one skier was sudden success. Not Giving Up. That's a trait among competitors.
That's how I saw the race. Apparently, Kelly Ripa saw it the same way I did. Micheal Strahan however, saw it differently. He barely noticed the one that fell and got up. Instead, he focused on the two that fell. He said if he had worked that hard to get to the Olympics and someone took him out of a race, he'd be pretty mad. I bet most guys were thinking the same thing. I wonder if that's a male vs. female attitude? Or is there something else that makes us look at the same thing differently?
In the end, for me, the Olympics are a series of stories of people; successes, failures, miracle wins and unexpected loss. I rarely remember who won which Gold, or which country has the most medals. But while the games are going on, I'm hooked. And when they are over, it is the stories that stay with me.
Who inspired me this year? An Olympics or two ago, (1996 actually) there was a tiny little thing that bounced off a Vault in gymnastics and landed on 2 legs and immediately, And I Mean IMMEDIATELY pulled her left leg up, because it was hurt. Keri Strug didn't hurt her leg on that landing. She hurt it in the preceding vault. But she went for it anyway. Common sense would have said, being able to walk for the rest of your life is more important than getting a great score right now. But athletes don't always recognize Common Sense rules. Their goals are so integrated into their being they can push through situations that would flatten most of us.
This year, I watched Figure Skater Jeremy Abbott hit the ice. Literally. Jeremy launched into some kind of spin/jump, but when he landed it wasn't on his feet. He hit the ice, and fell hard on his hip and then slid HARD into a wall. He lay prone for several seconds. (Just seconds? Felt like forever!) Finally he stood, rubbed his hip, winced in pain and headed for the judges station to withdraw from the competition. Then the fans started applauding and cheering.
I've been to enough sporting events to know when the fans applaud you standing up, they aren't saying GO ON!~ YOU CAN DO IT!!!!! YEA!!!!!!!!. They are just glad you aren't permanently injured. But that's not how Jeremy saw it.
Unable to let the fans down he went on to a truly inspirational program. He hit every jump. As far as I was concerned, he nailed EVERY move and was inspirational! I have a little bit of professional support here. The announcers were as amazed as I was.
That same night Evgeni Plushenko was also inspirational to me, but in a totally different way. Knowing when to walk takes just as much courage as getting back on the horse. Here was a national hero. He knew what was expected of him. We want our heroes to succeed. They EXPECT them to succeed. Evgeni knew he couldn't perform and would either embarrass his country or hurt himself. Either way, he knew it was time to walk, not skate. It was a sad moment, especially for all of his Russian fans. But I was proud of him. It was a really difficult decision.
Then there was skiing. Lots of skiing. I'm not familiar enough with the different events to keep them all straight, but there was one that was memorable. In one event 5 men skiied downhill. Only the first 3 would qualify for the finals. A skier at the back of the pack fell. No way would he qualify,-- but he didn't give up. He got up and continued on to sure failure. Then the skier in 3rd place lost his balance and fell into the one in 2nd place. AHA! Suddenly, what looked like sure failure for one skier was sudden success. Not Giving Up. That's a trait among competitors.
That's how I saw the race. Apparently, Kelly Ripa saw it the same way I did. Micheal Strahan however, saw it differently. He barely noticed the one that fell and got up. Instead, he focused on the two that fell. He said if he had worked that hard to get to the Olympics and someone took him out of a race, he'd be pretty mad. I bet most guys were thinking the same thing. I wonder if that's a male vs. female attitude? Or is there something else that makes us look at the same thing differently?
In the end, for me, the Olympics are a series of stories of people; successes, failures, miracle wins and unexpected loss. I rarely remember who won which Gold, or which country has the most medals. But while the games are going on, I'm hooked. And when they are over, it is the stories that stay with me.
Monday, February 10, 2014
Olympic Inspiration
I watched the Olympics opening ceremonies on Friday night. I can't say they were the most beautiful, or extravagant I've ever seen, but I don't think they needed to be. (True confession...I was multi-tasking so my mind or my eyes weren't focused just on them.) I enjoyed them just the same. I loved the music most of all. Russia has such a rich history there, and it was beautiful.
Every time the Olympics come around I like seeing how the host country chooses to showcase it's heritage. Sometimes I really like the music, other times, not as much. Sometimes it seems long, and drawn out. Other times it's stunning. But always it is interesting. I learn a little more about the culture and I find out about a place I will most likely never see. And I am inspired and hopeful that the host country will have a good show, and a successful Olympics.
I can be easily inspired. Some would say I tend to be a little sappy about this stuff. I stand guilty. I like it when things work out. When the work of thousands come off without a major hitch. What is sad is when we focus on all the wrong things. One snowflake that didn't open when it should, hotel glitches....
There may be three things that affects the focus of these Olympics. 1) It's Russia. Even with the cold war gone, we are still in competition to show we are better, and we look for any chance to prove it. 2) The unfortunate threat of terrorism--but truthfully, hasn't that been true for the last 30 years? 3) Social Media. A twitter page has been set up just to highlight all the little things that are wrong....door knobs, bad water, rooms not ready.... I wonder if twitter had been available at any previous Olympics what problems would have been revealed? Plenty, I'm sure. Nothing of that magnitude comes off without a hitch.
We live in an age where mocking anyone or anything seems to have become an Olympic sport and most of us could qualify for the team.
I hope in the weeks to come we hear less about the glitches, and more about the real focus...the athletes. I'm looking for the stories about them. Where they come from. What they overcame. The villages around the world that has a hero in Sochi. That has always been the best part of the Olympics for me. Hearing their stories, seeing the competition.
Politics will always be a part of it. It can't help it. We are intertwined, and in competition with one another, worldwide. But it needs to be a small part of the story. Not the focus. I'm looking forward to being inspired.
Every time the Olympics come around I like seeing how the host country chooses to showcase it's heritage. Sometimes I really like the music, other times, not as much. Sometimes it seems long, and drawn out. Other times it's stunning. But always it is interesting. I learn a little more about the culture and I find out about a place I will most likely never see. And I am inspired and hopeful that the host country will have a good show, and a successful Olympics.
I can be easily inspired. Some would say I tend to be a little sappy about this stuff. I stand guilty. I like it when things work out. When the work of thousands come off without a major hitch. What is sad is when we focus on all the wrong things. One snowflake that didn't open when it should, hotel glitches....
There may be three things that affects the focus of these Olympics. 1) It's Russia. Even with the cold war gone, we are still in competition to show we are better, and we look for any chance to prove it. 2) The unfortunate threat of terrorism--but truthfully, hasn't that been true for the last 30 years? 3) Social Media. A twitter page has been set up just to highlight all the little things that are wrong....door knobs, bad water, rooms not ready.... I wonder if twitter had been available at any previous Olympics what problems would have been revealed? Plenty, I'm sure. Nothing of that magnitude comes off without a hitch.
We live in an age where mocking anyone or anything seems to have become an Olympic sport and most of us could qualify for the team.
I hope in the weeks to come we hear less about the glitches, and more about the real focus...the athletes. I'm looking for the stories about them. Where they come from. What they overcame. The villages around the world that has a hero in Sochi. That has always been the best part of the Olympics for me. Hearing their stories, seeing the competition.
Politics will always be a part of it. It can't help it. We are intertwined, and in competition with one another, worldwide. But it needs to be a small part of the story. Not the focus. I'm looking forward to being inspired.
Monday, February 3, 2014
Farewell Best Friend
I've said goodbye to the warmest, softest, sweetest, furriest, companion I've ever had. It's a heartwrenching day for me, and I want to wallow in it. Instead, I'm going to try to share some of the wonderful memories I have of Super-Shedder, aka Princess, Fuzzball, Her Highness, Gorgeous Girl, and towards the end... The Poopin' Pup. Mostly she was Miss Maggie.
We brought Maggie home in June of 2000. She was a ball of fur that loved being held. I carried her everywhere. One day we needed a tree to be trimmed and hired Tony to do the work. Tony had a Rottweiler named Buckles who went everywhere with him. Buckles was the best behaved dog I had ever seen.
Maggie harassed him mercilessly. Buckles finally retreated to the wagon where he could escape her jumping all over his head and nipping his heals.
Many years later, Maggie had her comeuppance. A friend went on a trip and we took care of her Shih-tzu puppy. Maggie had no idea what to do as Pepper climbed all over her head, bit her feet, and jumped on her tail. Call it Karma. What goes around, comes around.
Maggie had a few personality quirks.
1) She was terrified of feathers. She would growl and bark at them, and walk around them, but she wouldn't go near them.
2) She had a blankie that went everywhere with her. One time she stole our king size blanket off of our waterbed and brought it out to the family room. I made her drag it back to our bedroom and jump back up on the bed with it.
3) She loved sitting in the recliner with Larry. As a puppy it was cute. I warned him that she would want to do it as an adult. He didn't believe me.
4) She loved pizza, but anyone who has read this blog has read the stories of Maggie and pizza.
5) She learned from other dogs. It wasn't until she saw my daughter's beagle sleeping in a dog bed that she decided she would like one. And then after we got her one, it wasn't until Hunter slept in it that Maggie would use it.
From then on, Maggie and Hunter frequently swapped beds or even shared one.
7) Maggie loved babies. Photographs were proof of that. In them she can be seen lying next to the car seat, swing, or bouncer, letting toddlers crawl all over her or just crawl around her checking her out. Her expression in this picture says it all. Peace, love, and joy.
Maggie was truly a gorgeous dog, and I'm not just a proud mama. People said it so often I think she expected to hear it. She may have thought that was her name. My favorite picture was taken in Pennsylvania when she was a year old. The late afternoon sun just made her glow.
She may have been beautiful, but she was all dog. She went everywhere we would take her.
Larry took her fishing and they spent hours in the boat together.
Janice took Maggie to the barn when she was riding Leia. Leia was such a good horse that when Jan went out on a trail if Maggie didn't stay close by, Leia would turn and go back to get her. Maggie loved the barn, the horses and of course their water buckets. Especially the water buckets.
I took her on all of my travels. Of all the places I took her I never saw her as happy as when she was running on the beach at Hilton Head.
Although Maggie was a Retriever by breed, she belied that name. When it came to playing Fetch or Catch, she was more like Lucy in the outfield. She would duck her head if a Frisbee came too close, or watch it go by and then amble over to pick it up. Instead her talent lay in her nose. At a tracking clinic we were told she could have been trained as a tracker for search and rescue. On walks I think that's what she thought she was doing. They could take forever, if I let her. Her nose would check out every deer print, every bush, etc. One time she had her nose buried intently in the grass trying to ferret out whatever could be making that scent! When she raised up her head, she jumped. There was a dead bird lying in the grass 6 inches away.
Through agility training, pet sitting visits with Janice, trips to PetSmart and dog parks she met lots of dogs and one-on-one they were great, but gangs of dogs intimidated her. She much preferred people, overall. At the dog park I could always find her under a picnic table or sitting next to a human getting her ears scratched.
In Florida Maggie would go outside for a half hour at a time to lay in the sun. In Pittsburgh, it took her a couple of years to realize that just because the sun was shining didn't mean it was warm enough to go out and sunbathe. She would stand at the sliding glass doors and stare at the snow covered deck. I'd open the door and she'd take 2 steps out, Stop, and backup into the house again. The sun doesn't come out that often in winter in Pittsburgh. That may account for why it took her so long to catch on to the fact that sun didn't mean Warm!
We have been blessed. When Larry and I got married, my sister gave us a black Lab/Border Collie mix puppy as a wedding present. (She owned the mother Lab.) Headstrong, hyper and full of energy, Poko lived 15 years. Next came a headstrong but manageable and lovable chocolate Lab, Caia. We had Caia 14 years. Maggie, our yellow Lab, has been the most mellow, best behaved dog. She would have been 14 on March 1. In 43 years we have had 3 wonderful, but very different dogs...all Labrador Retrievers.
Right now, there are no plans to get another dog. We plan to travel alot and feel we need to be unencumbered. But the hole in our hearts won't go away soon. It will remain for days to come. But she gave me 14 years of Life, a beautiful life.. Our dogs have brought such joy. They have been as much a part of our family as our children. Right now, saying goodbye to Maggie is an indescribable pain. All I know is she had a pretty great life for a dog. And I had a pretty great life as her Mama.
Rest in peace, sweet girl.
Monday, January 27, 2014
Old Friends
2013 had a couple of really special moments. I never got around to blogging about them at the time, but looking back at the year, I want to share one in particular.
2013 was marked by a series of reunions. Not the big family kind, just simple get-togethers between old friends and family. There was our annual Sisters' Reunion that took place in Pittsburgh this year. It was especially meaningful as both of my sisters had lost husbands during the year. We also caught up with cousins we only see at funerals, and I reconnected with several childhood friends.
In college I had a roommate who meant a lot to me. She told me one day that some of her high school friends kept trying to keep in contact with her. Then she told me she wasn't the kind of person who held onto old friendships. She moved on.
I was sorry to hear that because we became close friends, but when we lost touch after she moved to Denver I understood it wasn't personal. It's just the way she is. We did keep up a little and in the 80's we met for dinner when my family took a trip out west. I can say today though, that of all the people I have lost touch with I miss her the most.
Getting together with people from the past is so different from hanging out with current friends. There are past memories that pop into conversation creating convulsive laughter, or nostalgic feelings. There is a depth in the connection that can't be matched with current friendships...unless you have been friends for 30 years. History is the yeast in friendships. As the years age and ferment, the relationship transforms into something rich and full of flavor. It's the difference between flatbread and potato rolls (my favorite).
In a way, that was made all the more apparent last October when 4 of us 'old high school friends' got together for a weekend. Meg, Wendy, Janice and I were church friends when we were in high school. Actually, Meg, Wendy and I have known each other since we were babies. And we have the 1 year birthday party pictures to prove it! Over the years we have had sporadic contact and thanks to that proverbial Christmas Card List we have managed to keep somewhat in touch. (I must add, that where the Christmas Card List failed, Facebook succeeded. Perhaps this should be called the Facebook Reunion, since it was through Facebook that we all reconnected.)
Last summer Wendy's mother passed away and I went to the memorial service. Meg also was able to attend the memorial service, which was held at our childhood church. Janice was unable to get there. As we talked, visited, recollected and reminisced, we decided if Jan couldn't come to us, we would go to her. And we did!
3 of us descended on #4 in Cape May, NJ for a 48 hour .... hmm... how to put it? What happens when 4 old friends meet for the first time in 40 years, well supplied with wine, cheesecake, and fudge? Sometimes words fail. Sometimes the adjectives one grasps for fall just short of the experience they are trying to describe. Sometimes moments just 'are'. This was one of those times.
As young adults we all saw the possibilities of our futures, but looking back we could see how limited our visions were. Meg never expected to go into ministry. Wendy never envisioned all the friends she would make through on-line chat rooms. I never anticipated the many places I would live. Janice never saw the many paths her life would take on the road to Cape May. Somewhere I expect we all saw ourselves as college graduates, with jobs, married, and raising a family. The simple dreams of young people in that era. Instead our lives were so much richer than our dreams.
For 48 hours four women reminisced, shared, vented, encouraged, and validated each other. What was most evident was that although we had little true knowledge of where each of us had been for those 40 years, we all knew so much of each other's early history that it was easy to understand where we were all coming from.
When it was over it was hard to process all the emotions and impressions we carried with us. This is why it has taken me so long to blog about it. It was a special time that transcended words. There were vows of not letting another 40 years go by without doing it again. (Good idea! At 100 years old, assuming we are still around, would we remember who we were, let alone each other?) As we moved forward into the coming days we did so in the haze of living in two worlds--the past and the present.
Truly, no one knows you quite the way your childhood friends do. They know the background that shaped you, your family, your personality, your environment, histories you may have forgotten....but they remember. They are a special treasure. For us the overwhelming feeling was of a past regained, old friends re-discovered, and an unstated understanding that if any of us needed something, the others would be there.
Connections seemed to be the theme for 2013. Is there a better way to live our lives? I don't think so. For me 2014 will be a year of new connections, but it is the old ones that will carry me through. I will add more people to my list. When I move, my friends here will become distant. Some will fade away, but some will remain as new connections to my past, encouraging my future. As I remember my long lost college roommate I think of what she missed by letting go of those long-ago friends. Friendships are a special treasure.
2013 was marked by a series of reunions. Not the big family kind, just simple get-togethers between old friends and family. There was our annual Sisters' Reunion that took place in Pittsburgh this year. It was especially meaningful as both of my sisters had lost husbands during the year. We also caught up with cousins we only see at funerals, and I reconnected with several childhood friends.
In college I had a roommate who meant a lot to me. She told me one day that some of her high school friends kept trying to keep in contact with her. Then she told me she wasn't the kind of person who held onto old friendships. She moved on.
I was sorry to hear that because we became close friends, but when we lost touch after she moved to Denver I understood it wasn't personal. It's just the way she is. We did keep up a little and in the 80's we met for dinner when my family took a trip out west. I can say today though, that of all the people I have lost touch with I miss her the most.
Getting together with people from the past is so different from hanging out with current friends. There are past memories that pop into conversation creating convulsive laughter, or nostalgic feelings. There is a depth in the connection that can't be matched with current friendships...unless you have been friends for 30 years. History is the yeast in friendships. As the years age and ferment, the relationship transforms into something rich and full of flavor. It's the difference between flatbread and potato rolls (my favorite).
In a way, that was made all the more apparent last October when 4 of us 'old high school friends' got together for a weekend. Meg, Wendy, Janice and I were church friends when we were in high school. Actually, Meg, Wendy and I have known each other since we were babies. And we have the 1 year birthday party pictures to prove it! Over the years we have had sporadic contact and thanks to that proverbial Christmas Card List we have managed to keep somewhat in touch. (I must add, that where the Christmas Card List failed, Facebook succeeded. Perhaps this should be called the Facebook Reunion, since it was through Facebook that we all reconnected.)
Last summer Wendy's mother passed away and I went to the memorial service. Meg also was able to attend the memorial service, which was held at our childhood church. Janice was unable to get there. As we talked, visited, recollected and reminisced, we decided if Jan couldn't come to us, we would go to her. And we did!
3 of us descended on #4 in Cape May, NJ for a 48 hour .... hmm... how to put it? What happens when 4 old friends meet for the first time in 40 years, well supplied with wine, cheesecake, and fudge? Sometimes words fail. Sometimes the adjectives one grasps for fall just short of the experience they are trying to describe. Sometimes moments just 'are'. This was one of those times.
As young adults we all saw the possibilities of our futures, but looking back we could see how limited our visions were. Meg never expected to go into ministry. Wendy never envisioned all the friends she would make through on-line chat rooms. I never anticipated the many places I would live. Janice never saw the many paths her life would take on the road to Cape May. Somewhere I expect we all saw ourselves as college graduates, with jobs, married, and raising a family. The simple dreams of young people in that era. Instead our lives were so much richer than our dreams.
For 48 hours four women reminisced, shared, vented, encouraged, and validated each other. What was most evident was that although we had little true knowledge of where each of us had been for those 40 years, we all knew so much of each other's early history that it was easy to understand where we were all coming from.
When it was over it was hard to process all the emotions and impressions we carried with us. This is why it has taken me so long to blog about it. It was a special time that transcended words. There were vows of not letting another 40 years go by without doing it again. (Good idea! At 100 years old, assuming we are still around, would we remember who we were, let alone each other?) As we moved forward into the coming days we did so in the haze of living in two worlds--the past and the present.
Truly, no one knows you quite the way your childhood friends do. They know the background that shaped you, your family, your personality, your environment, histories you may have forgotten....but they remember. They are a special treasure. For us the overwhelming feeling was of a past regained, old friends re-discovered, and an unstated understanding that if any of us needed something, the others would be there.
Connections seemed to be the theme for 2013. Is there a better way to live our lives? I don't think so. For me 2014 will be a year of new connections, but it is the old ones that will carry me through. I will add more people to my list. When I move, my friends here will become distant. Some will fade away, but some will remain as new connections to my past, encouraging my future. As I remember my long lost college roommate I think of what she missed by letting go of those long-ago friends. Friendships are a special treasure.
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
January Doldrums
It's that time of year. January. Snow. Gray Sky. And then came the freeze! What a freeze. For 2 days while the thermometer stayed below zero, Maggie and I holed up inside.
Then the snow melted. The weather warmed up. And it RAINED. I think the sun has gone south for the winter. It came out one day for about 10 minutes, but I missed it. I was in the basement packing up the Christmas decorations.
I'm supposed to be grateful for all things. Well...... let's see.... hmmm....how can I say this?
I'm not grateful for the below 0 temps, the -35 windchill, and the constant gray sky! Maggie has been asleep for a week. I keep checking her to make sure she is breathing. She gets up, walks in a circle around the kitchen island for 3 hours at night, since she can't get out for her walk.
The icy snow has been a challenge for her, too. Twice I've had to go out and pull her up the hill to the front door. The first time was during the height of the freeze when the wind and the cold were just too much for her. And the second time came when she squatted to pee. She slipped on the snow and sat down and couldn't get any footing to get up. She just sat and waited for me to walk down and help her up. She is a constant reminder that getting old isn't fun.
So how am I handling all this great weather? Well, yesterday, I finally gave in. I woke up in a bad mood, and as the day progressed I didn't get much better. Finally around mid-afternoon I grabbed my coat, and a leash. It was gray. It was wet. It was above 32! One out of 3 was an improvement. Best of all, the sidewalks were clear of snow and salt so Maggie and I went for a walk. We both felt better when we got home. She went back to sleep. I added a Vitamin D infusion.....a nice blend of Florida Sunshine and Russian grains and potatoes. When we lived in the south a Screwdriver was a nice end to the day. Here in the north it becomes a must-have when January and February set in.
Let me end this mid-winter rant on a more serious note.
We survived the Polar Vortex very well. Pipes didn't freeze. Power stayed on. Not everyone was so lucky. I had a fire in the fireplace, and an electric blanket on the bed. I holed up on the really cold days with hot chocolate and a jigsaw puzzle. How VERY blessed I am!
In Florida cold spells could mean nights in the 20's. That's bitter cold when you're used to the 50's or 60's. When I lived in Tampa and we went through cold spells I worried and prayed about the homeless that were living under bridges and huddled around fires in a barrel trying to stay warm. I snuggled into my warm waterbed. (OH, they are so much better than electric blankets. The mattress is warm when you crawl in! Wow!) And I gave thanks, and prayed for those without heat. Since then I've never taken for granted the blessing of a warm bed.
In Pennsylvania, I still think of the homeless but I know there are many "Warming Shelters" for those who are without heat. I am thankful that there are people who are looking out for those in need.
And when the winter doldrums set in, I'm grateful for a warm coat to wear on a brisk day. I felt so much better once I inhaled fresh air. And then I warmed up with that great OJ infusion. And for that I am also Very thankful!
Then the snow melted. The weather warmed up. And it RAINED. I think the sun has gone south for the winter. It came out one day for about 10 minutes, but I missed it. I was in the basement packing up the Christmas decorations.
I'm supposed to be grateful for all things. Well...... let's see.... hmmm....how can I say this?
I'm not grateful for the below 0 temps, the -35 windchill, and the constant gray sky! Maggie has been asleep for a week. I keep checking her to make sure she is breathing. She gets up, walks in a circle around the kitchen island for 3 hours at night, since she can't get out for her walk.
The icy snow has been a challenge for her, too. Twice I've had to go out and pull her up the hill to the front door. The first time was during the height of the freeze when the wind and the cold were just too much for her. And the second time came when she squatted to pee. She slipped on the snow and sat down and couldn't get any footing to get up. She just sat and waited for me to walk down and help her up. She is a constant reminder that getting old isn't fun.
So how am I handling all this great weather? Well, yesterday, I finally gave in. I woke up in a bad mood, and as the day progressed I didn't get much better. Finally around mid-afternoon I grabbed my coat, and a leash. It was gray. It was wet. It was above 32! One out of 3 was an improvement. Best of all, the sidewalks were clear of snow and salt so Maggie and I went for a walk. We both felt better when we got home. She went back to sleep. I added a Vitamin D infusion.....a nice blend of Florida Sunshine and Russian grains and potatoes. When we lived in the south a Screwdriver was a nice end to the day. Here in the north it becomes a must-have when January and February set in.
Let me end this mid-winter rant on a more serious note.
We survived the Polar Vortex very well. Pipes didn't freeze. Power stayed on. Not everyone was so lucky. I had a fire in the fireplace, and an electric blanket on the bed. I holed up on the really cold days with hot chocolate and a jigsaw puzzle. How VERY blessed I am!
In Florida cold spells could mean nights in the 20's. That's bitter cold when you're used to the 50's or 60's. When I lived in Tampa and we went through cold spells I worried and prayed about the homeless that were living under bridges and huddled around fires in a barrel trying to stay warm. I snuggled into my warm waterbed. (OH, they are so much better than electric blankets. The mattress is warm when you crawl in! Wow!) And I gave thanks, and prayed for those without heat. Since then I've never taken for granted the blessing of a warm bed.
In Pennsylvania, I still think of the homeless but I know there are many "Warming Shelters" for those who are without heat. I am thankful that there are people who are looking out for those in need.
And when the winter doldrums set in, I'm grateful for a warm coat to wear on a brisk day. I felt so much better once I inhaled fresh air. And then I warmed up with that great OJ infusion. And for that I am also Very thankful!
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