Family

I grew up with 3 older sisters and no brothers. My sisters were 8, 10, and 12 years older than I. They were around for my younger years, but were off and married during my adolescent years.

Our parents were amazing. Somehow they managed to raise 4 highly individual daughters and yet maintain a strong family connection. Even more importantly they raised us to respect each others' differences. Perhaps one significant aspect of our individuality was that there wasn't a lot of reason for competition among us.

Because my sisters were so much older than I when they married, their husbands became more like older brothers to me than just my sisters' chosen significant others. They were just as different from one another as my sisters were. I was young enough to look up to them and embrace their individuality. They were fascinating men.

First came Joseph. He married my sister, Mary. Poetic isn't it? Better yet, he is Jewish--an addition to our Christian family. Joseph is Canadian--an addition to our American family. He and my sister are scientists. He is an activist, a pacifist, who studied nuclear science. Through them I learned so much about our world, its environment, and our responsibility to it. They lived in 3rd world countries teaching in their universities, or working in their villages. (And I got to visit them in some of those countries! WoW! What an opportunity for a young girl.)  They taught me that as great as America is, she doesn't have all the answers. From the beginning, Joseph fascinated me. He was outspoken, fun, warm, and lively. My earliest and fondest memory of him was sitting on the couch with him and my sister, reading "Winnie the Pooh". I was just hitting my teen years. He was a wonderful reader who laughed and chuckled his way through the book. He is probably the reason that book became one of my favorites.

Then came Larry. He married my sister Susan. Larry was Christian Science--a bit of a stretch for my parents (my dad, the MD, and my mother, the nurse). They tried to dissuade my sister, but when she said he was the one, they accepted her decision and welcomed him into the family. (One way my parents taught us unconditional love.) Larry was just plain fun. He loved to have a good time. (He still does!) A favorite memory of mine focuses on our summers in Connecticut. We played King of the Mountain, swimming in the pond with rafts and inner tubes. It was the best, because he always gave us a good fight. His laugh was deep, rumbly and contagious. One memory I've carried for years is watching Sue and Larry walking ahead of us at an amusement park, holding hands, Sue skipping along beside him. He and my sister had such a good time playing. But they were devoted to their faith and we had many interesting discussions about it. He helped me think more about my own faith, defining and understanding it.

Last was Lee. He married my sister, Jean. Lee was Protestant. (I can almost hear my parents sigh with relief. "Phew!") He was the son of a banker, from our home town. But he was clearly his own person, and was destined to follow a different path from Banker's Son. Lee was not a scholar, or student as defined by college degrees. But if you read about the forefathers of this country, George Washington or Thomas Jefferson, you see how many subjects they studied and learned on their own, by reading, researching and practicing. Lee would have been highly successful in those days. That was how he did it. Following a set education was never Lee's way. But I know of few (honestly, I don't know any) people who have learned more and taught themselves more than Lee did.

His first love seemed to be electronics. As a high school kid he set up the electronics systems for his church. His bedroom was loaded with speakers, amps, control systems. Engineering was in his blood, but he couldn't sit still long enough to get through the basic classes in college that either covered stuff he knew, or covered stuff he couldn't imagine needing to know.

Through his life he was an electronics technician, a volunteer fireman, and EMT, a dairy farmer, a veal farmer, and a custom cabinet maker. 

My young children were in awe of him. He built the veal farm from the ground up, as well as a large Salt Box style home. For his house he designed a 3-way heating system that could support oil, wood or solar so it would never be without heat. As my daughter, Jen, put it, "I didn't think there was anything he couldn't fix."

Through it all, he harbored a deep interest in boating and owned a few boats, but it wasn't until he and Jean had a two-year stint in Australia that he was close enough to water to really get into it. Boating and boat rescue became a big part of their lives. And this led to the final dream.

Lee and his son decided to build a boat. First they designed it. It would be a 42' Trawler. Then, III went to a shipyard to help build the hull. From there it was 7 years of 'every night and weekend' working on the boat. Every inch of it was built by them. When he was fiberglassing the wheel house I asked him if he had ever done fiberglass before. "No", he answered matter-of-factly. "Then what made you think you could do it?" I asked.

He shrugged and said, "I read up on it, asked some questions and figured I could do that."

That pretty much sums up the way he looked at life.

The boat was beautiful. He and my sister were lucky enough to spend 5 years living on Miss Ruby, cruising the inter-coastal, making friends wherever they went, and even collecting the 'keys' to a couple of cities. And constantly learning.

What did I learn from Lee? That if you truly want it, you can do it. Success begins with a dream, depends on a plan, and comes to those who follow through.


My brothers have been amazing. Each one has enriched my life, taught me so much about life, faith, and the world. My sisters were fortunate to have met such great men. I was lucky to be young enough to enjoy getting to know them and learn from them.

I grew up with 3 sisters. But I inherited 3 awesome brothers.

A Not-So-Ordinary Day

Sunday Afternoon. Kids in shorts, parents in Tees. Children playing tag or football or just plain 'try-and-catch-me'. Dogs chasing and barking joyfully.

An afternoon walk. Windows open. Birds singing. A gentle breeze, a sunset through low clouds that promise rain. Neighbors jogging. Neighbors cleaning out gardens. A buzz saw cuts through the air. Neighbors cutting dead wood into firewood.

Windows OPEN.

What's not-so-ordinary?

It is JANUARY in Pennsylvania! 2 days ago it was 20 degrees. Tomorrow night it will be 20 degrees. 

Today it feels like late April.

It is the perfect time to Sieze the Day; (or more accurately 'enjoy the day for time is short').

And we all did. Carpe Diem!

'Tis the Season!

'Tis the season to go shopping....
Fa La La La La, La La La La!
Christmas Wish Lists keep me hopping...
Fa La La La La, La La La La....

Oh, yes. The consumer season is upon us. I'm not a big shopper for most of the year, but give me a reason to shop and permission to spend and I'm right out there with the best of them.

What really gets me...in the wallet...are all those shiny gadgets, colorful gift boxes, and new, never marketed before, glossy or sparkly, or just plain cute...THINGS just begging to be bought!

During the year I walk past displays in Target (or Wal-Mart--I don't discriminate), head held high, motivation intact. Nope. Don't need that. I came for the dog food on sale. I don't need the latest sweater or the matching individual casserole bowls in fall colors. But starting with Black Friday, I am way-laid by the sparkly tops. I gaze at the Christmas dishes. I find my cart filling with cute toys for kids, 'adorable' stocking stuffers, and...oops...what to my wondering eyes should appear, but holiday wineglasses to help spread the cheer!

And I confess I am a sucker for a MAN gadget in a gift pack!

Let's face it. Is there anyone harder to shop for than a man? First of all, most men can't come up with a (decent) list of things they want for Christmas so it's really their own fault when they end up with the stuff marketed for men at Christmas. And even if they do give you a wish list, it's for work gloves or something silly like drill bits! I mean, what kind of gift is that? It's like giving me an iron! Why don't they want fun stuff? How many wrenches, drill bits, or black electric tape can they use?

And that is the crux of the problem and the reason for all those glitzy gift packs. Women like shiny and glitzy. Men like useful and practical. The result is predictable. He gets the charging station and the matching briefcase, billfold and credit card holder, when what he really wants are the floor mats for his truck. She gets the crockpot and set of cookbooks from the Food Network, when she was hoping he'd go to Jared's.

Do we need anymore evidence that 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus'? Christmas should be the exclamation point on that concept!

Before I close, I need to add a disclaimer here. My husband and I both go towards the practical side. I like a bit of glitz in my own life and I am guilty of buying that gift item marketed towards women to buy for men, but overall, most of the gifts we buy for each other are simple, practical, and right on target. He doesn't really need to go to Jared's to reach my heart.

And now...back to the store. There are only a few shopping days left and I'm pretty sure I hear Target calling my name.

Fa La La La La La La La LA!

It's been a tough weekend. A community in Connecticut is reeling from a tragedy that is unimaginable. While we go about our lives putting up trees and wrapping presents they are planning funerals. What else they are going through, I can not even imagine, and I won't try. I haven't gone through anything like what they are. I won't put myself in their place.

I had a blog post ready to go, but it is way to cheery, blythe, and light-hearted to post just now. I will post it in a day or two. But I felt as if I needed to say something. So I will speak to one area I do know. I was a teacher. My daughter and son-in-law are teachers, as is my niece and two of my husband's cousins.

I remember one interview I had for a pre-school teaching position. It took place at night. Shortly after we began, the power went out and we were thrust into darkness. As they searched for candles or flashlights, a faceless voice said, "Mrs. Rosenberry, if this happened when you had a roomful of children, what would you do?" I thought for a moment and then answered that in a calm voice I would tell the children to be very quiet and listen to my voice. Then I would tell them to carefully walk towards my voice. Shortly after that the power came back on. (I guess I did ok. I got the job.)

Teachers handle all kinds of situations from fire drills to lock-downs. I was teaching in an elementary school on 9-11. It was so hard to know what to tell children. My daughter tried to find the right words, the right balance, for her 4th graders. Later, I listened to the stories of teachers in an elementary school near the World Trade Center as they took care of their children until parents could get there. I tried to imagine what it was like for them. A friend of mine lived in Arkansas in 1998 when the middle school in his town was targeted. He was not a teacher then, but he did become one later.

Nothing can prepare you for a school shooting, but learning how to calm children becomes inherent in the job. Drills help them set the stage and help children respond calmly when panic could ensue. Even so, there is always one child who knows 'it's just practice', but still gets really scared. We take that one by the hand and help them lead everyone else.

Now that I've said all that, I want to add that every story I've heard this weekend about teachers makes me so proud of them. They were heroes. They hid them, read stories to them, made it into a game of pretend, or told them a fox was in the hallway. They found amazing ways to keep the children calm and protect them when surely they knew it was very bad out there.

They are heroes.

But it's not over.

When school reopens, be it this week or in January, they will have to do it all over again. They will have to help their students find a sense of normalcy while validating their fears. There will be counselors all over that school, but after the parents, the classroom teacher will be a student's first counselor, and the one that will be there every day, all day, whenever a child's fear bubbles to the top.

No teacher goes into teaching thinking about protecting a classroom full of children from a crazed killer. But when fate puts them in that situation, they rise to meet it with courage, calm, and ingenuity. They do it well.

Gloating on a Snowy Day

I'm gloating. If you were here you would know it without me telling you. You would read the smug look on my face and ask "Why are you gloating?" Then I would point outside and you would say "So? It's snowing. Why are you gloating?"

Then I would try without success to take the humble approach as I explain that my Christmas lights are up.

You see, I am a procrastinator. I have good intentions but even though I could get something done ahead of time it doesn't happen until I have reached the countdown phase. I remember one year, when I was still working. The kids asked me if we were going to put up the Christmas tree before Christmas. I don't remember sarcasm. There was more a sense of panic in their voices. (I finally got the tree up about a week before The Day.)

Now that I am retired I always put our Christmas lights up outside on the weekend after Thanksgiving. Of course in Pennsylvania the weather can be nasty and cold. Which brings me to why I am gloating.

Two weeks ago the weather was mild and warm. Larry suggested we put the lights up since the weather would be nice. Much to his surprise, I was thinking the same thing. And then came the double suprise. I did it! I put the lights up two weeks early. When the weather was nice...and everyone else was busy cleaning out their garage, or taking a walk on a lovely day.

Today, when I would normally be stuck on the portico roof over the front door winding strands of lights around the railing I am inside. Gloating. It is snowing outside and my lights are done!

Thanksgiving Traditions

Thanksgiving. No matter how you say it, it is hard to change the meaning or the intent of the day. It is a special time. And in every family it is celebrated a little differently. Some opt for the best china and silver while others go for the buffet, paper plates and plastic ware. For most, it means a day with family even if it is just your spouse and kids.

When I was growing up our Thanksgiving celebration resembled the Saturday Evening Post cover with the family gathered around the table, dressed in their best clothes, dad carving the perfectly roasted turkey while we all watched. I assumed everyone celebrated it the same way. Then my brother-in-law joined the family. He came from a different background and was always amazed at the rituals of our celebrations. Our holidays were peppered with customs and conventions. “TRA-DI-TION!” he would declare playfully!

I like rituals and routines. They are a family’s way of making a special day really special. When we moved away my husband and I had to set up a few of our own routines for holidays. And without a lot of family nearby, we became much more relaxed about most holidays. But we still had our special Tra-di-tions!

 One custom has completely escaped me. Black Friday. I am not a big shopper and I’ve never wanted to head out for the big deal of the day. I did go one time, 30 years ago. A friend and I spent the day fighting crowds in the mall and we had fun! We got a couple of good deals. But I’ve never felt the need to do it again. But for those who love to stand in line and hit the stores at midnight, I say ‘Have at it’! I will be warm and snug in my bed in a tryptophan induced dream state.

This year the competition to open earlier than anyone else has hit a ridiculous level. I wonder if anyone is actually eating turkey anymore, or are they just grabbing a cheeseburger at Wendy’s while they hold their place in line? Is there a new tradition for family assignments? Whereas one person used to set the table, while another mashed the potatoes, perhaps now one holds the place in line while someone else runs to Dunkin’ Donuts for the hot chocolate and cream filled confections.

My only problem with all this is what about the employees of those retailers vying for the ‘first-to-open’ trophy? A paycheck is a wonderful thing, but so is a day with family. Even better is a day OFF work. The ‘consumer’ season is upon us and those employees are going to be working their weary heads off over the next four weeks.

Some employees are finally saying enough is enough. Many even picketed outside the store. Unfortunately, that still meant they had to give up part of their day that should rightfully be off. I recognize the necessity of some professions who take care of us. And I appreciate the sacrifice those people make. But for retailers the day of thanks has become the day of greed. Instead of giving thanks for, and rewarding good employees, they have found new ways to walk all over them and take advantage of their need for a paycheck.

I don’t worry about what the world is coming to. Times change. They always have. My kids don’t do things the way I did. I didn’t do things the way my mom did. She didn’t do things the way her mom did. That’s ok.

As inventions change the way we live, our lifestyles will change. I don’t worry about the world my kids will inherit. They will adapt and think little of it. All I can do is make sure my family knows and remembers the most important elements…the basic foundations that make their life a valuable and memorable experience. But I do hope that at some point businesses remember happy employees are a good thing, and something to be thankful for. Trust me. If the stores don’t open until 12:00am, Friday morning, the people will still come.

 

 

 

Deal's Orchard

While I was in Iowa, Janice and I took the kids to Deal's Orchard in Jefferson, Iowa. They had been there earlier in the fall when things were at their peak but when the kids had a day off from school we went again. It is a family run farm that mainly grows apples, but also pumpkins, corn and Christmas trees.

A few years ago, we went there and did the corn maze. Their corn maze is awesome. It covers several acres, and has a Question/Answer hunt hidden in it. It is designed with a theme in mind. This year it was about pumpkins. They give you a map with an aerial view of the maze. On the back are questions about pumpkins. The questions are actually designed to get you to explore all the maze to find the answers, not just run through it.

The maze was just about over this year. The corn was thinned, and trampled, but it was fun to go through it anyway.

The answer to "the largest pumpkin grown". Glad I didn't have to pick it!



Peeking through the stalks

Bundled up and having fun!

We made it!

After the maze, we headed for the kids area.

First of all there is a huge jumping pillow--similar concept to a bouncy house, but much bigger, and without walls. It is built right into the ground. The kids had a ball.

Then it was on to the Corn Box. I grew up with a sandbox, but this is really cool. It may not stack and pile as well as sand, but with all the toys in it, who cared? Samantha and Warren didn't. Great fun.

We tried the scooters...I wasn't sure I could stand back up after I got on and bent my knees to my chin, but I managed.

We raced ducks in the water trough using hand pumps to push the water through.

Warren tried out the tricycle track.

But the slide is one of the best. It is a huge tile or corrugated drainage hose built into a hillside. The braver ones would use sleding disks to sit on and go down, but Warren and Samantha just had fun sliding through the hose to the bottom and then climbing back up the hill.

There are goats to pet. Cats to make friends with. Pumpkins to buy. And a final jump on the pillow.
It was a great way to spend a day. Even one as chilly as that day.

Before I close, I have to add in one more photo. I was chastised after my Halloween post because I forgot to include a picture of that John Deere Tractor Costume. So here it is. Warren is already a charter member of the Future Farmers of America. This picture proves it!