Zachary

2 Hands, 2 Feet, 10 Fingers and Toes! A sweet little mouth and adorable nose. He murmurs. He coos. He's such a sound sleeper. The image of perfection. It's Zachary Wheeler.

We've done it again! We have added grandchild #4 to the family. Zachary is the biggest cuddler I've ever met.

When I first saw Zachary, all I said was "He's a baby Nicholas!" He looks so much like his older brother...except for one thing. I think Nicholas was born with his eyes wide open. (And it is still hard to get him to close them when it is bedtime.) Zachary is a quieter copy of his big brother.

Those first few days it was obvious he thought this world was way too bright, much more so than where he spent the last 9 months! He squinted, he frowned, he scowled, and he kept his eyes closed. As soon as anyone picked him up he fell asleep in their arms.

He can make anyone feel like the most protective person in the world. Nicholas actually sat for over an hour holding Zachary on his first day home. No TV. Nothing going on. Just Nicholas on the couch with his baby brother in his arms. Not moving. Sitting very still. And protective. Nicholas is a devoted big brother. And so far he seems to have little problem sharing Zachary with his mom and dad. (Phew! Always glad to get past the jealousy hurdle!) Of course, every parent knows there will be moments.... but they are off to a good start.

Zachary is changing already. Looking bigger, and not so 'brand new'. He has unfolded and stretches out, nice and relaxed and checking out his world. Zachary has decided if he is going to stay, he might as well look around and take in his surroundings. He is beginning to be awake more often. I can see him start to focus and look at objects, lights, and faces. And he listens to sounds. Some will make him open his eyes, or look towards a sound. He may just raise his eyebrows. But he hears them. He doesn't startle easily.

Each infant comes with its own personality. As a grandparent it is so much fun watching them develop. I've learned (from being a parent) that half of who a child becomes is influenced by their parents. The other half is who they inately are. It is how those 2 parts interact that will ultimately determine who he will become. I've gotten to know my first 2 grandsons, and I love what I see. They are works in progress, as different as night and day, but still have lots of fun together. Samantha is obviously Warren's sister, and at 18 months gives us clues as to what kind of little girl she will be. Now it is Zachary's turn. His genes are set. He is who he will be. Today he is a needy infant, totally dependent on the adults in his life. Over time we will get to know who he is.

I'll be on the sidelines watching.

Meeting Samantha

I've been busy this week. I met a new little girl and I've been trying to get to know her. I met her Wednesday afternoon but she was asleep. She slept a lot that day. Each day she wakes up a little bit more and takes in the world around her. She hasn't figured out at all who I am, but one day she will. I am her grandmother.

Newborn babies are mysterious little creatures. The come into the world already part of a family they know nothing about. The bond between them and their new family is both immediate, strong and yet a little tenuous. They have a communication system all their own and it has to be decoded. They have a mixed up sense of night and day. They wake when we are busiest, or sleepiest. Their needs are limited, but demanding. "Feed me NOW!" "Ewww! I'm wet. Do something about it NOW!!" or the ever frustrating "I have no idea what I want but I want it NOW!!!" The next few weeks will be devoted to learning about this new being.

Samantha is a sweetheart. She is so tiny compared to her 3 year old brother. She grunts when she wiggles or squirms. Her little legs pump in and out. Her arms reach out and up. She rolls her head from side to side when she squirms in her seat. In reality there is nothing that sets her apart from other newborns. Except she is OURS! That alone makes her one in a million! At first her eyes were often squeezed shut. She would open them to check out this new world, but it is obviously so much brighter than where she was just a few days ago. She checks out her mother and father, and occasionally me. Today she really began to look around the room.

Her big brother is curious and protective of her and proud. Larry arrived Friday night just a few hours after she came home from the hospital. Warren immediately said, "Paberry! Come look at the baby!", reached for his hand and took him to the crib. He checks her if she fusses, but he doesn't hover. "The Baby" is a part of the house but he continues to enjoy his own world. So far, there are enough adults to go around so he hasn't had to share the attention.

One of the joys of being a grandparent is watching a family unfold from a distance. The distance isn't marked in miles, but in years. The years between being THE Parent, with all it's fatigue, demands, hopes and expectations, and being a grandparent, an onlooker who has a little perspective, but mostly none of the demands. I am looking forward to watching this little girl grow up. To get to know her. What will her playtime obsession be? Will she love dolls? Playing house? Pretending to cook? Maybe she'll be fascinated about how things work and she'll try to put things together, play puzzles, roll around with her brother's cars, trucks and tractors. Or will she be creative, love to draw, play with playdoh, create things with blocks?

After watching 2 little boys turn into such wonderful little beings, I know how much I will enjoy watching this little girl develop.

That's the mystery of babies. They are so new, so fresh, but beneath the surface they already have qualities and characteristics just waiting to explode into real people. It was great meeting Samantha, but getting to know her is the real fun of being a grandparent. It's one of my favorite parts of living the life of an 'empty nester'.