Traditions

Growing up my family enjoyed the holidays, both summer and winter. Breakfast picnics, Thanksgiving gatherings, Christmas parties, the candlelight service on Christmas eve, as well as the sunrise service on Easter are all just a few of the things we grew up doing. My brother-in-law had a word for it. Tradition! "Tradition!" he would declare when we would be planning a picnic or talking about a family sing.

After Larry and I married, we started to create our own traditions. Our own family was raised with a set of family traditions. Because we lived in Florida, far from any other family, our Thanksgiving and Christmas traditions were centered around just the four of us. As the girls grew up and left for school, or marriage, they still came home for Thanksgiving and Christmas and those traditions continued.

The year we moved to Pittsburgh was the year we upset the apple cart. It wasn't just us. Janice married and moved away. We moved here. Jen remained in Florida. But suddenly we had to re-invent our holiday traditions. The girls discovered their in-laws handled Thanksgiving differently than we did. From stuffing to pies, the food on the table, as well as the rituals involved had some subtle and some not so subtle differences.

Ben Franklin once said, "In this world, the only thing certain is death and taxes". About a year before we moved I felt pretty certain that our family would move into the next phase of our lives and live within a few hours of each other, in Florida. The next year was like watching dominoes fall in slow motion. When the last domino fell we were all separated by 900 miles.

I think one of the hardest parts for everyone was discovering how to celebrate holidays we had spent together for the previous 30 years. It may have been difficult, but ultimately, I think it is one of the biggest parts of creating and raising a family. As an empty nester, this year Larry and I are faced with re-creating a Christmas morning without kids. When we got married, it was exciting to have that morning together, before we met with the rest of his family. The traditions we developed were a combination of some of his favorite memories and some of mine.  But 40 years later it seems daunting.

Even so, I look forward to finding out what we will do. Traditions add stability, expectation and excitement to family events. But they are not stable. They will change and that is a good thing. It means life is evolving and we are open to new things. Traditions aside, that seems like a much more stable way of life than remaining static.