P.I.C.N.I.C.

If you are a "techie" you'll understand that title. If you aren't, I'll explain in a minute. I am NOT a techie, although some think I may be; at least a little. When I was working I was considered the Technology person for our school. If there was a problem with teachers' computers, I was the go-to person. Unfortunately, that wasn't because I really knew what I was doing. As one person put it, 15 years ago, when our school was trying to decide who would be the designated Tech person, "Connie, it should be you! You know more about this stuff than anyone else, here!" To which I replied, "If I know more than anyone else, then we are in trouble!"

I learned a good bit while I was doing the job, but mostly I was the first level tech person who solved the simple problems. One thing I learned is that when you check the troubleshooting part of a manual for anything the first thing on the list is "Is the (fill in the blank) plugged in?" That question is there for a reason. It made people like me look smart. I plugged in the printer, and VOILA! it worked!!! Amazing.

Well, this week was a chance to harken back to those days. First, someone hacked my email. Hundreds of people on my contact list (yes, there are that many) received invitations to try Viagra or Cialis under the multitudes of misleading subject headings like "I Did It!", or "You'll Love This!". I changed my password, but alas, Hotmail decided to teach me a lesson while protecting their system. I was locked out of my account for a day while the whole thing was sorted out. So Techie thing #2 was to fix my account and get it back. Today I had to deal with Techie #3. My wireless printer went off line and none of the traditional fixes (meaning turning it off and then on again) worked.

The problem with all this is, as I stated at the beginning, I am NOT a techie!! Therefore I made a few missteps before I figured out what I should have done and ended up re-installing my wireless router, and then I had to reconnect my printer and two computers. 2 hours wasted.

There is a fun side to being a techie. Techie's have code words they use to describe problems to one another. My favorite is the "IDtenT" problem. It sounds very 'technical' but when a Tech Support Person tells another Tech Support Person, "the problem was an "IDtenT" it is not a compliment. I won't spell it out for you, but grab a pencil and write it out, supplementing the actual number for the word. It means you probably forgot to plug the printer in.

One guy who does phone support told me he uses the "Pin3ErrorCode" with people over the phone. One key tip to solve any problem is to 'check the connections'. This doesn't mean jiggle the cable. It means unplug it and plug it back in to make sure a lost connection has been re-united, so to speak. Most people would assure the phone tech they had checked the connections. This techie told his clients it 'sounds like a Pin3 error code' and had the client unplug a few cables and then reconnect them, frequently solving the problem.

So what does P.I.C.N.I.C mean? Code for "Problem in chair, NOT in computer". Another version of the IDtenT code. The problem is: user stupidity; not computer error. So back to my problems this week. As for the email Hacking: true. My password was too simple, and not changed frequently enough. Problem in chair.  Blocked out of my email????  Let's change that to "Problem in COMPUTER, NOT in Chair!" (even if maybe I originated the problem). And then the wireless router? Definitely, problem in chair. As I said, I was a Level 1 tech support person at my school. I only looked good because I had great 'behind-the-scenes-support'. Greg, I mean YOU! I had people I could call who would walk me through more complicated fixes. It's one of the things I miss most, now that I'm retired. So after fiddling around, make that fumbling around, I finally solved the problem and got my printer back on line

Being the Tech Support person is one of the things I don't miss, now that I am retired! But having those people I could call?? Oh yeah, I miss them ALOT!

Computers....can't live with OR without them

I had hopes for today. I got up and did my workout. I took care of the light chores. I had lunch. Then I looked at the rest of my To-Do list. Vacuum, clean up the loft, walk, read, Call HP. I REALLY didn't want to call HP. But I knew I had to.
Last week I had an issue with a wireless printer we own. I called HP and played Spider Solitaire on the desktop computer while HP used my laptop remotely to find out what the problem was. The techs are very cordial, and pleasant. They say my name with a funny accent and occasionally the connection on the speaker phone seems to screech, but I don't mind. They can navigate the morass that makes up a computer hard drive with an ease that eludes me. I watch my arrow seemingly move with a life of its own until, voila, my printer begins to work! Yea!! I think.
The next day I open Internet Explorer. A dialogue box pops up telling me my security program has been disabled. Hmmm. I play around and have no clue. I try to turn it back on, but nothing happens. I restart my computer. No luck.
I'm busy. I don't have time for this. So I ignore it until I do.
Today I can't ignore it anymore. It is time to face the phone...HP tells me the problem is in my computer, not my printer. DUH...'no, they can't fix it'. Toshiba tells me the problem is in Windows. Call Microsoft. Microsoft tells me it will be faster if I go online. I spend hours online clicking here and there and literally going in circles. Each click eventually takes me back to the beginning, with no PERSON in sight! Finally, I go back to the phone with the information MS wants just to tell me how much it will cost for me to talk to a person.
Bottom line? Another pleasant tech takes control of my computer, does her guru thing, makes SURE MY PRINTER STILL WORKS, and leaves me grateful and annoyed.

Computer and printer: $800.00
Tech support to make it all work: $60.00
Assuaging my frustration .....  Priceless????    Not Exactly. Maybe I shoulda' bought an Apple.