Frog and Toad and Dead End Roads

Oops, We did it again.

The saying goes that in the north there are two seasons: Winter and Construction.

Well, we're deep into Construction Season. We've bumped our way over many roads that need an overhaul and wound our way through plenty of orange barrels.

Then, there is the morning local traffic report.

The TV was on as we were eating breakfast and packing up, catching glimpses of the weather and traffic reports, but not paying much attention. There was something about an accident, some road was closed.... Perhaps we should have listened more closely, but it was turning into one of those mornings.

We left later than hoped, stalled by phone calls and a malfunction in the Leveling System, which kept wanting to drop the jacks. It's really hard to move forward when the jacks that keep the camper level are on the ground. Finally, Toad was hooked, jacks were up and phone calls were ignored. We were on our way.

Ten miles after we got on I-70 traffic came to a standstill. I pulled out my phone to see what MapQuest could tell me. A black line outlining the highway was punctuated by a circle with a line through it. A section of the interstate was closed. Humph. Annoying. We were stuck in a long line that was finally funneled off onto a side road. A police officer stood at the end of the exit directing traffic; some to the left, some to the right. We wanted to go right. He took one look at us and pointed left. In hindsight, I suspect he was trying to tell us we were too big and we needed to stay on the main roads.

I grabbed the Road Atlas and started searching. OK, I told Larry. Stay on here and we can pick up US-40 and take it to Washington and get back on I-70.

Our GPS didn't like the plan. Turn left in 1/2 mile, she said. "Don't!" I said.

Larry was heading away from where he instinctively felt we should be going.

Finally, 'she' convinced him there was a better way. The road she wanted us to take did indeed go to I-70, further west from where we had exited. I didn't like it, but Larry really wanted to get back on I-70. We turned onto a ..... yes, of course.... a narrow road. A half mile in a sign warned us of lots of curves ahead. Well, we couldn't turn around. We kept going, and going, .....A car coming our way pulled over as far as it could and came to a full stop. I could imagine the driver inside sucking in his breath and leaning as far away from us as he could, as if that would make more room. We inched past.

And then we saw a Semi ahead of us! We took that to be a hopeful sign. If he could make it, we'd be ok. Hopefully. He was leaving a trail of leaves as he drove under low hanging branches, but he wasn't clearing the path completely. Tree branches whipped and snapped at us as we drove under trees not accustomed to big rigs. We kept going, and going.... Finally I-70 began to show up on my iPhone map. I was just starting to relax when we rounded a bend in the road.

There was the sign: Road Closed 1500 Feet Ahead.

?*&!@$%!!!(More Unprintable language)

Seriously, We had no where to go. We weren't facing steep cliffs, but we took up most of the road we were on. It was forward or backward.

We passed a house and crept around another curve to see two semi's stopped at the bottom of a hill at a cross road. The good news was the dreaded barrier blocking our way was on the other side of the intersection! The bad news was the turn was too tight for the semi's to make. We stopped. Thankfully, they were quite a ways ahead of us, but it was obvious they were trying to figure how to make the turn from one narrow road onto another. We had just passed a small house and I was ready to get out, disconnect Toad so we could back into their yard, and get out of there, but we watched the trucks to see what they figured out.

One driver was out talking to the other driver. Truck number two backed up a bit, so truck number one could back up. Finally, the first truck maneuvered his way around the turn, and semi number two was able to do the same thing.

It was our turn. We ventured forth, swung wide, and rumbled down the road; I-70 a few miles ahead. A few more turns, much bumping and banging over pockmarked highway, and a whole lot of construction barrels later we found ourselves back where we wanted to be. It was almost noon. We hadn't yet gone 50 miles. It was going to be a long day.

But I had a new mission. I'm not allowing him to take anymore unknown detours. From now on, it's interstate or Principal Highways as designated by our road atlas.

I've also realized taking the Grands on a trip in the RV wouldn't be a good idea...unless they are wearing earmuffs.

Frog and Toad Get Stuck

There is one fear that most RV drivers live in fear of--the dreaded dead end; that place where there is no way out except to turn around. RV's pulling a car (TOAD) can not back up. Period. RV's can make U-Turns but a 35' one takes 4 lanes to do so. Getting stuck on a narrow mountain road with a sheer drop-off on one side and a steep hillside on the other that ends in dirt road heading off into the woods is the things nightmares are made of.

So is the dreaded Gas Station.

Gas stations are full of pitfalls. Is there room to pull in without blocking off everything else? Can I get in and get out? Can I drive around the islands without Toad knocking a gas pump off it's base? And of course a busy one is a pain because at some point you ARE going to block someone from something.

One tool we have is our travel bible: The Next EXIT. This book lets us know what gas stations, motels, restaurants, and grocery stores are available at each exit, so it's a great tool for any traveler. But it's claim to fame for RV'ers is the amenities highlighted in RED, which means they are RV accessible.

Usually.

Except for Exit 146 on I-79 in West Virginia. (RV'ers take note! Unless you are diesel, DO NOT GET GAS at the Pilot at EXIT 146 on I-79 in West Virginia! Also note, that is the only thing at Exit 146. Just keep driving.)

We knew we were in trouble when we pulled in and the sign said "ENTRANCE/EXIT" and the word CARS was visible, but RV was missing. However, we saw another lost soul and took heart. While Larry is navigating the lot, my job is to peruse it for the way out, the best pump with the most turning space, etc.

Me: "Look! There's an Airstream at that pump. Get in line behind him."

Larry: "How do we get out?"

Me: Hmm. Well, the parking lot goes back behind the building. That must connect to the truck lot and we can get out there. See, the Airstream is heading that way."

At this point I start to get out of the RV so that I can guide Larry into the pump. But as I do, I see the Airstream has stopped. And then he begins to back up.

Uh-oh! This is not looking good. Larry starts to pump gas and I go to investigate.

The Airstream occupants get out and are looking... well... it's that combination of confused, worried, anxious, annoyed...

(I will avoid dialogue here, because most of it is unprintable in polite company, and perhaps around sailors.)

We are stuck. We have found ourselves in The Nightmare. There is no way out, except the way we came in. Then it gets comical. The pumps are set up so that all traffic will exit right and make a right turn at the last pump to get back out. Good luck. WE are in the last pump. At this point, cars can still get out, but there ain't no way WE are getting out that way. To make matters even better, our 'RV Brake' monitor has just informed us that Toad's battery has just died, but that's a story for another time. Even if backing up was an option, once we disconnect Toad, we have to get a jump start to move Toad. Can it get any better?

There was really only one answer.

I ventured into the store and 'gently' informed the attendant in the store there were two campers stuck in his lot that weren't getting out until he blocked some pumps.

Which he did.

While one attendant blocked pumps and re-directed traffic, another, very helpful employee came out and directed Larry as he turned the RV, very narrowly missing a truck parked there. The driver of the truck came out as we were blocking him. He was not thrilled with the situation and had to wait until they could clear the pumps of cars and get us through. He made his thoughts known when he could finally escape. We heard the squealing tires all the way down the highway.

After several seemingly endless minutes we made our escape with much thanks, and apologies, although we couldn't have done much else. The Pilot station was also along that much dreaded narrow road with no place to turn around.

We waved goodbye to the helpful attendants and the Airstream guy who was still wondering when he was going to get out.

Larry was still hyperventilating and "F"ing everything in sight as we headed back north on I-79.

And then we opened our Travel Bible and crossed out Exit 146 on I-79 in West Virginia with big letters NO! written over it.

Some days, the adventure is just more than you hoped for.

Day 4--Hit the Ball and Drag George

Frog and Toad getting ready to leave home. (But the brake lights are on and they shouldn't be!)

My father loved to play golf and he always had some good golf jokes to tell.  Good golf jokes allude to the Never Say Die spirit of the guy playing golf. Golfers will play through almost any situation.

This is one of my favorite of his golf jokes.

A man went out to play golf with his buddy, George. He was gone all day and got home rather late. His wife asked him how the day had gone.
“Oh, it was terrible.” The man said. The morning was gorgeous. The sky was blue. The temperature was perfect. The first 3 holes went fine. But just as we were about to tee up to the 4^th hole, George grabbed his chest and keeled over!”

“Oh no,” cried the man’s wife. 

“I know,” said the man. “The whole rest of the day was ‘hit the ball and drag George’.

OK. I know. You are out there screaming OMG, That’s AWFUL!!!  and yelling at me and telling me that was the worst  joke you've ever heard. But you're laughing too, so don’t blame me completely.

As poor taste as that joke is, I can never get away from that punch line. Often it is a metaphor for life. When things go wrong you just have to keep on plugging. (Hopefully, with a little more sensitivity.)

It’s been kind of a metaphor for this trip too. We got the Honda to Iowa, but most days it was just “hit the ball and drag George.”  First trip will be to the hardware store where we can buy a fuse puller. It was the one thing the most prepared man I know didn’t have.

We are here. We are happy! And the Toad’s new name will probably be George.

Frog and Toad in Iowa! We made it.

PS: The road was clear as we drove down it. 

That's how I like it!

RV Trip Day 2: Frog and Toad

Day 2 of our First RV trip! So how’s it going you ask? Hmmm. The short answer is pretty well! The more interesting answer takes a little longer.

First, a vocabulary lesson: We are towing a car behind the RV. RV’ers refer to the car being towed as The Toad!  Great play on words, don’t you think?  So when you see me talk about Toad, it is the Honda CRV that is tagging along behind the RV for the trip.

There is another word that keeps popping up, much to Larry’s chagrin. As a Children’s Librarian and Elementary Media Specialist I was very familiar with a series of Frog and Toad books by Arnold Lobel.  If the Honda was Toad, it just seemed natural that the RV was Frog. And a friend of mine said it made sense, because FROG means Fully Rely On God. So if Frog crops up in this blog you will know why.

That ends the vocabulary lesson.

Packing for our first trip took all weekend. And my shopping list of stuff to buy that I didn't think about, is growing. 

Lesson learned:  Plan, but take lots of cash to fill in the gaps.

Today, gave us another teachable moment. When we hooked up at the campsite, the water pressure was really low, and the water pump ran all the time. We knew that wasn’t right, so Larry turned it off and we turned it on whenever we actually had to have water. The goal was to look for a Camping World and see if they could see what the problem was.

Note: Camping Worlds are not as plentiful as Wal-Mart. There was one 2 hours east of where we were. The next one was 6 hours away, but on our route. The good news is that once we were there, they discovered a valve wasn't working properly and got things running.

Lesson: Follow your instinct. If something doesn't seem to be working, don’t use it. Check it out.

Living in the RV is going pretty well. The kitchen is working out, but then again, the most we've done is fix coffee, heat water for tea, microwave some frozen chicken tenders, and heat up a can of beans.  However, I've had to readjust my idea of meals. When we were looking at RV’s I was insistent on making sure the kitchen would function well. Eating out is nice, but fixing a familiar home cooked meal is good too. Larry enjoys eating out a lot. So for this short trip I figured that after a day of driving he’d be ready to go somewhere for dinner, but I brought a few things, just in case. I didn’t plan very well.

Readjustment number 1: When you have to unhitch and rehitch the Toad, sometimes you are happy just parking, and eating dinner in your own “home”. Plan a couple of easy, favorite meals for travel days.

Readjustment number 2: Sometimes Toad doesn’t want to go anywhere. Yep. It happened again!

Today, we had the GPS off. Everything was set correctly. But the Honda manual said it is best to pull the accessory fuse if you are towing the car for long. We had hoped to make several stops today to run the engine in the car, but that didn't happen.  So Toad is recharging and we are once again, holed up in Frog, eating whatever I can scrounge up for dinner.

Day 2 is in the books. I wonder what Day 3 will bring? Whatever it is, we are Fully Relying On God. So it can only be good things. Right? 

Murphy's Law? Our First RV Trip

We are on our first extended trip with the RV. Perhaps Murphy's Law: (Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong) isn't quite accurate, but the trip has had its share of teachable moments.

Day 1.

Larry and I have been very intent on making sure we both know how everything works. The water and electrical hookups, hitching the car and prepping it to be towed; we are both learning it all together. We don’t always work well together, so this is a test.

I positioned the car and ran the transmission through its paces, while he hooked the cables. He set up the brake package and we checked the lights.

Him: Why aren't the brake lights going off?

Me: Hmm. That could be bad.

Him: They should go off.  

He reconnects the brakes and this time the lights go off. (Phew.)

Him: Why is the door dinging when we open it?  It isn’t supposed to ding. (The key is set in the accessory position and the car is in neutral, so it can be towed.)

Me: It dinged last time.

Him: I didn’t think it did.

Me: Actually it didn’t ding the first time, but it has dinged every time since.

Him: I don’t think it should ding.

Me: It dinged when we left the RV place and the guys double checked to be sure everything was set up correctly.

Him: (mumbling as he walks away) I don’t think it should ding.

I am proud to announce that the conversation, inane as it sounded, was friendly, not irritated. We were a team and we handled ourselves very well. This is good.

Finally, an hour and a half past our target takeoff time, we were ready. We hoped. Off we went. I was glad he was driving and not me. I think he wished he wasn't driving either for that first hour as we wound through a narrow canyon, with rock cliffs on my side, and a river on his. “Just keep it between the lines” has never been truer. We were glad to get on the interstate.

Going through downtown Nashville, an alarm went off on the brake monitor for the tow car, telling us the car battery was dead! (No one wants to hear an alarm go off, anywhere, but when you are driving a big rig through congested city streets, and you are already a bit tense---Really--its not fun!) No rest area, or pull off in sight, of course. 5 miles up the road we pulled into a Pilot Truck stop that was VERY busy. We did our best to squeeze our 55' of  RV plus car into as little space as possible, but we took up one lane of fuel pumps. While I pumped gas, Larry checked the car which was dead as a doornail, disconnected the brake package (hope Kentucky doesn't require it), put a portable booster/charger on the battery and got it going enough for us to discover the GPS had been running the whole time. I had turned it off that morning, but in playing around with ignition switches and brakes, we hadn't noticed it had come back on.

A little while later we were settled in the campground. Time for a beer!! Then, time to set up the RV.

And then I discovered just how prepared my better half really was. Not only did he have a portable air pump/battery booster, but he had a real battery charger that could plug right into the RV and charge up the car. The next big surprise was when we discovered the campsite had cable and he pulled out a 50’ coaxial TV cable! I know. We are camping. Time to get out and enjoy the scenery. But cable is nice, especially, once the sun sets.

Dinner's done. Drinks have revived and relaxed us. We've found a couple of channels we can watch on TV.  We’re checking car manuals so we don't repeat errors made today. Our home on wheels is set up and secure. Hopefully, tomorrow will go a little better. But all in all, we handled whatever came our way today.

One thing is sure. We are a team. This is not a one person show.