Thursday, December 22, 2016

Epic Fail; Christmas Style

Sometimes the "Voice of Experience" whispers in your ear. Other times it shouts "NOOOOOOOO!" while jumping up and down with lights and sirens flashing  Sadly, either way, some of us never hear that Voice. This was one of those weeks.

THE PLAN
It started when I saw the Cake Pan in Wal-Mart. I wasn't even looking for it, but there it was, looking so cute and perfect. I was there to buy ingredients for cookies I was baking for a bake sale and as I eyed the pan I thought how well that cake would sell.

So I bought the pan.

THE HISTORY
Here's the thing. I have a history with cakes.

Before Larry and I were married I wanted to impress him with a chocolate birthday cake made from scratch. I found a recipe, and followed it faithfully, right down to separating the eggs. I mixed the dry ingredients, beat the wet ingredients, and combined them in the bowl. The final step was to stiffly beat the egg whites and fold them into the cake batter. I eyed the yolks in the bowl on the counter. Hmm. I must have put in the egg whites instead of the yolks when mixing the wet ingredients. Oh well, I thought. Let's see if it makes a difference.

It does.

The final product could have been patented for construction material. No exaggeration. Larry and I took the 1/2" thick block outside and threw it against the brick wall to see if it would break. The brick chipped. The cake stood strong. Not a nick in sight.

Then there was the cake I made for a neighbor's anniversary. Their children had asked me if I would help them surprise their parents. The day of the party arrived and we made the cake together. All was well until I tried to get it out of the pan. It wouldn't come out. Nothing could prod it loose. First we were frustrated, and then we just started giggling. I cut a slice out and removed the rest of the cake. We pieced it together, iced it, and the kids carried it home with a story to tell.

Since then, it's been sheet cakes and angel food cakes in a two-piece tube pan.

THE DREAM
As I looked at the pan, I wasn't hearing the whispers. I wasn't hearing the shouts or the sirens or seeing the flashing lights. I was seeing..... I don't know what I was seeing.

The dream...



As I look at this picture all I see is a pretty cake. The obvious part glaring at me, that I am oblivious to, is all the angles and edges! I didn't pay any attention to that until I went to grease it and dust it with flour. That's when I first realized I may be in trouble.

I read the recipe and gathered the ingredients. I bought fresh extract and ground the almonds. I melted the butter and blended the flour, sugar and baking soda. I poured it into the pan and baked it to perfection! The cake came out beautifully! Gorgeous color. Delightful texture. I was feeling most pleased...



THE REALITY
...Until I flipped it over onto the cooling rack. It wouldn't come out of the pan! I tried everything. I reheated it to be sure it was loose from the bottom. We pounded, and shook and pried....nothing. Finally I Googled "How to get a cake loose from a pan". In an instant there was the answer! (Seriously, what did we ever do without GOOGLE?)  Get a dishcloth wet and wring it out. The temperature doesn't matter. Wrap the cloth around the cake base....( um,  you see all the edges!) and shake. And it worked.


Sort of.

EPIC FAIL!


The only thing harder than getting the cake out of the pan was washing it. I removed all that I could and then soaked the pan overnight. The next day I tried washing it. AGAIN---ALL THOSE EDGES!!! I brushed, I sponged, I scraped with a fingernail, I used toothpicks. Every last soggy crumb clung tenaciously to the surface of the pan.

THE HOPE
One friend comforted me with the observation that I am a very optimistic baker. I keep trying, in spite of the obvious. Some would say I am naïve, even crazy to think I can do it. I guess in my world, Hope just springs eternal.

But maybe sometimes Hope and Being Crazy are more closely related than I like to believe.

By the way, the cake tasted great and did not go to waste. Now I know how the TRIFLE came to be.



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