I am visiting Jan, Mike, Warren and Samantha this week. Yesterday morning I woke up very early to hear a baby talking loudly in her crib and a toddler running down the hall singing JOHN DEERE!!! at the top of his lungs. I opened one eye. 6am. It was Mother's Day. No sleeping in this morning. Emeril would have to arrive before dawn to surprise this mom with his annual Mother's Day Breakfast in Bed.
I always loved the image of a sweet child bringing his mother a tray with a flower in a vase, orange juice and a plate of pancakes for breakfast. Who is that child and where does he live? I'm pretty sure he never lived in any of my friends' homes. And if he did, I'm also pretty sure the tray was just a cover-up for the disaster waiting in the kitchen after Mom gets up. It's a nice idea, but it's about as close to reality as McCauley Culkin taking out the burglers in Home Alone.
We have lots of ways to honor mom's from gifts to taking her out to dinner, but the truth is Mother's Day begins the same as every other day. Mom gets up and feeds a hungry baby, fixes breakfast for a toddler, wipes a runny nose and carries on much the same as any other day.
I had the pleasure of being treated to lunch yesterday by my daughter, in honor of Mother's Day. We celebrated with her mother-in-law, her sister-in-law and her S-I-L's mother. Along with the adults were the 3 little ones. It was a great way to spend the day and there were several other 3 generation tables like ours. A comment Kathy made hit the mark. "I've waited 35 years for this." While raising 2 boys and living on a farm where chores don't take a holiday, Mother's Day was a day like any other. Being treated to lunch by her 2 daughter's-in-law was what she dreamed of when the children were little.
What do moms want? It depends on where they are in life. The busy mother of a young family dreams of time to herself, while the mother of grown children longs for time spent with family. But most of us have fond memories of the little gifts our pre-schoolers and young children brought home from school.
Warren came home from pre-school on Friday with a soft soap bottle vase covered in colored tissue paper and 3 paper flowers cut from the outline of his hand, in the vase. "Happy Mother's Day!" he beamed. Jan beamed right back at him. "My first Mother's Day Present!" she said. Those are the memories I have of Mother's Day. The paper teapot with the teabag and poem attached, the paper flowers, or the picture made in school. They are the times that made me feel special as a mom when my kids were little. The lunch yesterday, made me feel special as a mom now that my kids have grown.
Happy Mother's Day!
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Yesterday, I posted a message on my FB page giving thanks for my sons - celebrating Mothers Day for the joy they brought me and continue to bring me now that they are all grown up. I ended the message "Now get to work making me a macaroni picture frame covered with glitter"! It's those gifts... the vase of dandelions and hand-made crafts that are the best memories of Mothers Day past.
ReplyDeleteI have had such mixed feelings about Mother's Day (and Valentine's Day, etc.) over the years. In many ways, it used to feel like a contrived holiday to "force" people to show their love. But, I have come to realize that maybe we need these days to jump start us.
ReplyDeleteWe didn't do a lot with it when I was growing up - - or what we did was not sealed in my memory. Did we do enough for Mom? Sad, really.
I remember my fist Mother's Day as a mom - and I had JUST had Scott. Mom was still at our house helping me with "little Scotty", and she made me this cake - all decorated by her. I loved it. Celebrating Mother's Day with my own mom - and with my new baby was kind of neat.
As the years went on, I think I poo poo'd Mother's Day because of my feelings of not feeling like a "good enough mother". I didn't want Ray and Scott to feel so "obligated".... I know Scott hated to go card shopping -- he didn't want to make a card - was so not into it.... I also don't remember the cute little artsy craftsy gifts.
Yet - on a more recent Mother's Day Scott decided to take me (and Ray) out for dinner and HE paid. It was after he had begun to caddy and had some cash to do this. That meant a lot to me - and to him, too.
It's all different now - and, as you say, my longing to have contact with Scott on that day. It's all I want. Forget the cards and gifts. Just call me! :) As you said - it is interesting that "time to myself" or a relaxing dinner out is what I might have wanted as Scott was growing up, but now I want MORE time with him!
And he did call me - and sent a card (which I know Lisa picked out!!). We had a great conversation. And, I called Mom (and sent her flowers) - and we had a good conversation, too. Ray took me out to brunch after church (though he forgot the card - but then, I forgot the card on Valentine's Day!)
When my grandmother was a young mother, 1908, there was a push to make Mother's Day a national day. (It started after the Civil War, but until then was recognized on different days in different states.) My grandmother didn't like the idea of it. Her feeling was "Why should I be honored for doing something I chose--wanted--to be." She saw being a mother as an honor God blessed her with, not something she should be honored for. I'm like you, Wendy. Over the years I've had mixed feelings about celebrating Mother's Day, but my feelings were colored by my grandmother. I tend to think she was right on the mark. Even so.... I love the little trinkets from children and the lunch out.
ReplyDeleteI can just imagine how good both you and Scott felt when he took you out. So go with it and enjoy what comes your way! I think he thinks you were just fine as a mom! :)
Hi Susan,
ReplyDeleteThe image of the vase of dandelions reminded me of Warren this morning. We were outside and he loves to pick dandelions. He picked a couple for his mom and took them in to her. Later when we went in she was holding the baby with a dandelion tucked behind each ear and one in the top of her ponytail. He was delighted. "You look so pretty!" he said. And she did.
In some ways, I think that these "contrived" holidays (if you will) do teach us -- and especially teach children -- how to show caring and love. The hope is that the caring and love will be carried out throughout the other 364 days of the year.
ReplyDeleteAnd -- as I look back I do not think I was a BAD mother, but there WERE moments when I was frazzled to the core and wondered about it all! Then Mother's Day would enter and I'd wonder even more. Looking back, most times, I did the best I could. What more can a mom do? And, Scott turned out very well - whether because of me - or despite me!