A Slow Moving Process

It's no secret life has been a bit crazy lately. So much is going on I haven't had time to think. We've moved. That part is over! Now we are unpacking. And unpacking. And unpacking.... oh, did I mention? We are unpacking. Does it ever end??

Tonight, I sit here in my new house. It's a cabin, really. Very rustic. About 1/2 the size of the home we moved from. I'm trying to collect my thoughts. I've heard it said that Geniuses work well under chaotic conditions. They have so much going on in their heads that to work in an organized environment is very hard for them. Once again, I have proof that I am not a genius! I can't think when my environment is too far out of sync.

During the move, and over the last week lots of comparisons, thoughts, reminiscences have crossed my mind, but I was unable to stop what I was doing to write a post. It turns out, when there is a lot to be done, writing takes a back seat. At night, I collapse and look at my computer like a zombie. Even if I can think, I'm afraid to start writing for fear I will be up for the next 2 hours when I really need to go to bed.

So hear is the update. The good news is that most of the boxes have been unpacked. The better news is that my kitchen, which is about 1/3 the size of my last one, has been set up and is working very well! On the other hand, the yard sale pile is growing. We knew we had more to get rid of, but it was hard to do until we actually got here.

I've stated before, that I hate to move. I have to admit, I'm not sure exactly why I hate it. Truthfully, moving is an adventure. There are new people to meet, new places to see, an opportunity to reboot my life, or join new groups and participate in new activities. On the other hand, moving means saying goodbye to all those things I came to enjoy about my current home. And it is a total disruption to my life. The most obvious is moving away from friends and a home I love. Listing a house and having to keep it in pristine condition while working or raising kids isn't fun. Then there is the packing. That is a huge job, but over the years, we have had movers do the lion share of the packing for us. At the other end of moving is the unpacking. Right now, it is the part I hate most.

Unpacking is a mix of adventure, discovery, frustration and wonder....that moment when you just say "Huh?"

There is the satisfaction of unpacking a box and finding places for everything. There is the frustration of not being able to find something I know must be here, but which box? Then there is that AHA moment when it is finally found. This move it was the DVD player and all the remotes. We discovered them nicely tucked into the bedding from the master bedroom. We would have found it sooner, if we were using that room. Instead it was the VERY LAST box unpacked.

There is the wonder at unpacking something I can't imagine ever having kept, like an empty jar.

So far my favorite find is a tall, narrow 1 quart empty jar. I can see keeping a wide mouthed jar, but I have no idea why I ever held onto this jar!

Best of all, there is the surprise at unpacking something I forgot I had, like an old momento that had been tucked away. Unwrapping that suddenly brings back warm memories of an event long forgotten. Like this little photo album my dad kept of all of us as children, as well as his grandchildren.

That's me at ages 5 and 4

The best part of this move is that after nine times, Larry is by my side, working just as hard as I am. That is a first. Every other time we have moved, he would go to work and I would unpack the boxes, one at a time, one day at a time. This time it is a team effort. And I think we are winning.

One day at a time...one box at a time.

43 Years

Today is our 43rd anniversary. You'd think by now we could ace the Newlywed Game or some other game show about how well do you know your spouse.

Maybe. Maybe not.

For instance, this morning, at breakfast, I served orange juice in two pretty little glasses engraved "20th Anniversary". I told him the girls had given us those glasses 23 years ago. "Hmmm, I'd have failed that question on a game show," he said. That's ok. They have been mostly on display for the last 23 years. This morning I chose to use them.

However, there have been times when we have been so in sync it is positively scary.

There was the Christmas we gave each other the same gift. We bought each other bath towels with ducks on them. True...we had spent the whole trip south to Florida from our vacation in Connecticut stopping at outlet malls looking for duck towels to go in our newly redecorated bathroom featuring mallard ducks. We hadn't found any then. Yet, 5 months later, there were several towels in wrapped boxes under the tree.

There was the Christmas we bought each other Christmas cards that looked different on the outside, but had the exact same message in it!

Sometimes it can be scary.

And then there was yesterday. We are in the middle of this move. We've been overwhelmed by the unpacking. There are address changes to make, insurance to set up, auto tags to apply for. Plenty to do, and little time to get it all done. (The kids are popping in for a visit with the grand kids in a little over a week from now.) Lots to get us sidetracked. So I tentatively asked him the other night, "We aren't exchanging gifts are we?" He glanced over. "Uh-uh" he says with conviction. OK. Phew... because I hadn't had a chance to even think what to get him!

Of course I didn't want to be completely unprepared so yesterday, I ran out to Walmart to pick up a prescription AND to get him an Anniversary card. I came home and tried to sign it behind his back before we went out for the day; Movie, sofa shopping and dinner at my favorite restaurant. I planned to present the card at dinner. It was the perfect card... It started out "Today is the day to drop everything, ignore the demands, put the world on hold..." Yes it was, and we were doing just that!

He saw what I was doing and looked sheepishly at me. "Ummm, I didn't get you a card."

"You WHAT? You didn't GET me a card????" Incredulous, yes. (But honestly, not upset.) However, I had to rub it in. I left the card at home, and reminded him he still had a day to get me one. He wasn't off the hook yet!

After we bought the sofa, later that afternoon, we had some time to kill before dinner and I saw him scoping out the cards in a gift shop.

This morning we exchanged our cards at the breakfast table. Our day to 'drop everything' was past, but the rest of the card still said what I felt. I opened his card. There was a hot fudge sundae on the front with lots of whipped cream and two cherries. (My kind of dessert!)

"Building a life with you is the sweetest treat of all"....it said. "That says it all" he added.

And that's what anniversaries are all about. Celebrating the present, the past, the moment, the memories. Appreciating the moments when you are in complete sync, and laughing about the moments when you are in two different orbits.

And this year... just being glad to make it to the end of the day still smiling, and looking forward to a good night's sleep. And ready to do it again, tomorrow!

Happy Anniversary, Honey! Here's to Many, Many More!!